Lost husband of one year to ALS

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Brenda

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Joined
Nov 7, 2007
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Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
08/2006
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US
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New Jersey
City
Hillsborough
Hi, I am the widow of a young 46 year old man who passed one month ago after a 14 month diagnosis. Ken and I met onlline after recently being divorced, and fell in love right away. After nagging him to go get certain symptoms checked out, after 1 year he was dignosed with ALS we were devastated as we were planning on getting married.
I went from being a newlywed to a widow in 14 months.
During his illness he never lost his sense of humor, which made it much easier to care for him, we always used humor.
By the time the disease took him it was taking 4 of us, his parents, myself and his son to care for his every need.

I am hoping through this forum to meet some people who are going through or have gone through this for some support.

Brenda
 

beeno

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Loved one DX
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Pelzer
sharing the loss

Hello Brenda,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband, My husband died on 11/1/07 after being diagnosed with ALS in July 2007. We were married 32 years and I will miss him terribly.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Regards
Beeno
 

Al

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May 25, 2004
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7,960
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Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
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State
On
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NW of Toronto
Sorry for your losses ladies. Welcome to our forum and feel free to offer advice or thoughts on ALS or anything else you may feel to be of help for you or others.
AL.
 

Icanmanz

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Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
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PALS
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Uni
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Texas
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Tomball
My condolences to each one of you, and may your husband rest in peace. God bless.

Irma
 

CindyM

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Hello to both of you. I am so sorry for your loss. You will likely find lots of folks who have walked in your shoes on this forum. I am glad you decided to join us. Cindy
 

midwestgirl

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Feb 13, 2007
Messages
101
Reason
Loved one DX
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IN
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Indianapolis
Brenda, Beeno, I am so sorry for your losses. My mother passed on Oct 23rd, I am having a hard time emotionally. At work today, I was in tears again. I will feel fine, and then all of a sudden, the floodgates open. There is such a mixture of emotion - I try and tell myself to be glad mom is no longer suffering, but I just miss her so much. Other times, I just get mad that what ALS does, and how much PALS go through with the constant decline.
 

freddiesnetty

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Nov 2, 2007
Messages
239
Diagnosis
12/2006
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Houston
So Sorry for your losses. This is a great place to help get you through this....My Prayers are with you family.
Annette
 

brooksea

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Sep 27, 2006
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Brenda and Beeno,

I am so very sorry that y'all have lost your husbands. Hopefully you will find comfort from others here on the forum and you will be able to provide valuable information as well.

Keeping you in my thoughts...
 

beeno

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Joined
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Messages
5
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Loved one DX
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US
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South Carolina
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Pelzer
Thank you so much for your replies and the support. My husband lived (officially) with ALS since July 2007.
He had symtoms before that, after realizing that he has ALS we saw changes in the past 2 years like muscle twitching, fatique and falling down. After July 2007 he progressed VERY FAST, I saw changes almost daily. He was a very independant and proud man until the end and laughed and cut up with the nurses at hospice. He passed in my arms while I comforted him and talked him through letting go.
I will truly miss him.
What made a difference, he told me 2 weeks before he passed, that he will not be here on 11/1/2007 and he passed on that day. Our hospice nurse and his family could not believe that he knew.

PLUS -praise the lord- he requested to be SAVED on 10/29/2007, he is in heaven without pain looking down on us.
 

brooksea

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beeno,

I'm glad his passing was peaceful and you were able to be there with him in the end.
 

Citlalli

Member
Joined
May 25, 2007
Messages
26
Reason
CALS
Country
Mexico
State
Morelos
City
Tepoztlan
I am sorry and feel so much for all our losses.

I relate so much to all of your words:

The relief of knowing his suffering has stopped, that he is free from his body that restrained him, hurt and caused him so much discomfort.

For me, that I can sleep the entire night, write this post, drink my coffee, eat a hot meal in one sitting, start repairing my body of the damage and pain caused by all the carrying.

At the same time...

The inmense pain of losing him, of knowing I will never see him again in this form, in this world, never his beautiful long eyelashes, his amazing smile. I miss him so deeply. A stone in my heart, the will to live so weak.

The amazement for the beauty and magic of his spiritual process through his illness, the way he died, his beautiful funeral and all that has happpened. we took part of his ashes to the ocean last week and it was so intensely magical, in the golden lighjt of dawn all these sparkles from the ocean (phosforus) came to greet him, so we saw him dissolve into a constellation of electric blue lights in the deep water into which I dropped my wedding and engagement rings too. As we left a fammily of dolphins were swimming by our boat, and tenths of sea turtles appeared, it was a very special event even for the people who live there. All this life receiving my Andres.

Maybe all of this does help but I still miss him so much, home alone for the first time after weeks of traveling ( 2 spiritual retreats and the ocean in the middle, al of which was so very healing). I walk around not knowing where to start dismantling the old life while the new, my healing, extending my own roots, slowly begings to take form.

Thank you for being here for me, for listening, and know I am here for you too, my dears.

Citlalli
 

Gina

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
219
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
04/2004
Country
CA
State
ONTARIO
City
CAMBRIDGE
Brenda,I am so sorry to hear of your loss.My husband is in the late stages of ALS and i know the pain and heartache you and your familly must have gone through before he passed.I am sorry that the disease took him so quickly and you only had a short time with him but it sounds like you loved each other enough for a life time.It must be very painfull to loose that love but i am sure that love never dies and we will be with our loved ones again when the time is right.Take care of yourself and i will be thinking of you.Gina
 

Gina

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
219
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
04/2004
Country
CA
State
ONTARIO
City
CAMBRIDGE
Beeno,I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband of 32 yrs..that is a long time to love someone.My husband and i will be married 37 yrs. at the end of the month and he is now in the late stages of Als.Please take comfort in knowing that thier are people on here who are thinking and praying for you at this time.God Bless and take care.....Gina
 
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