Thank you for replying John. Such a soothing post. You are right, the pain will never go away. The stages that I went through were so out of this world, that I have a difficult time sometimes to try to describe them. I am at peace now, but every now and then, I still break down. Just like the other day, I was going over to my other son's house, I stepped out of the house, got in my van, and drove off. I rolled the window down, just wanted to feel the morning breeze, I thought to myself, "What a beaytiful day!" Then this thought went through my mind. I wanted for my son to be here with us soooo bad. I thought to myself, why isn't he here with us? Then I started to cry. You will never forget. Like I said, I am at peace, but I still cry now and then. That is the reason I am still on this forum. Something tells me that my son would have wanted for me to remain here, and be of some help, if I can. May your loved one rest in peace, along with my beloved son. May God bless you.
Irma