Hey ChesterB,
Not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better. I can certainly relate to the frustration. It's always the worst time in one's life to lose the ability to move! You are not unique.
Try your best to put that great work ethic into figuring out what you can do to adapt to a new way of living. It's your new full time job. Reading up on accessibility equipment and medical equipment and its operation is something you can control and it will help you in the future
I was diagnosed at 46 with two years of progressive symptoms prior. That was a tough two years of working on my feet as a machinist (leg onset). Wearing AFO's in your boots for 10+ hours a day is not fun! I'm now paralyzed from the shoulders down and have a trach and feeding tube.
The first thing I did after DX was apply for SSDI. That went through with no prob. In my case I didn't have much savings. Fortunately I had no debt. Next I looked into what other benefits I qualify for. To my surprise, I didn't. As a machinist with 28 years of working and paying taxes, my SSDI was so much (not!) that I was on my own. In terms of caregiving there's no help with paying for it. I will say the medicare advantage plan I have has been great. I picked one with zero copay for DME. With two vents, cough assist, trach supplies and tube feed that is a big deal. I haven't had to deal with waiting for the RT to tweak the equipment. My wife does it under my supervision. I also have my second PWC coming in two weeks. It will have eye gaze control for driving and adjusting seating position. Something interesting to look forward to.
Fortunately with the help of my family and big help from my wife, I've been able to survive. I don't have the resources to go out. This is the price for living with ALS on a tight budget. But I am still here. My daughter was 7 when I was diagnosed and I can't believe I am around to see her turn 14! She still visits often and I'm still her dad. I still laugh. I'm here.
I'm not sure of the best way for you to proceed, but if you can put the anger aside and make adapting your new job, you might be surprised that it isn't that bad. Think and research what you can do to reduce your burden on those who are helping. There's a lot of home automation available and affordable. But unless you can afford to pay someone to do it, it is up to you to set it up. None of this is rocket science once you decide to make it your new job.
Not sure what my point is.. I kinda rambled on. For sure you are not alone. Don't stop trying!
Jim