Christy,
I think it is pretty common to find resistance to every new change. My husband has been the same way. He was diagnosed in February, he promptly went shopping for a sail boat - then a ocean going power boat - amongst other big ticket items he wanted. I was in a panic, thinking how will I sell whatever it is he buys once he can't use it - as well as the financial panic from losing his income, etc. A friend with ALS that I made on one of the forums emailed me and said basically let it go, he will come around...it was very hard, but I did just that. And did that with everything. At first my husband would NOT discuss a wheelchair, an advance directive, NONE of it. But, ALS has marched on, and he slowly has come to accept what is. My husband told me at first he would "check out" before he would get in a wheelchair, well, our first loaner manual wheelchair is coming Monday, and he is happy that it is coming, since walking is becoming hard. He let a group of friends do a fund raiser this weekend, we raised enough money to put a stair lift in our house, which he is thrilled about, since the stairs are a pretty tedious and dangerous event these days. What I guess I am saying, is that every new thing, whether it be thick it or a wheelchair, is another step down, my husband sees it as losing something he will never get back. I know my husband gives in ONLY when no other options are on the table....But, as the disease goes, he is also finding taking the help makes his life easier. He even got a handicapped placard, and used it yesterday. I know it was hard on his pride, but it was that or walk several hundred feet to the front door, thankfully he chose the handicapped space.
So, he hopefully will realize that thick it simply makes his life easier. If he isn't already doing this, also have him tuck his chin to his chest when swallowing, it helps. I know how hard this is, it is heartbreaking and terrifying to watch our spouses sink into the mire of ALS. Try to take care of yourself too....and I like what someone else said, remind him that you love him, and just want him around for a long time, a bout of pnuemonia is no thrill ride, but if you are patient he will probably come around soon.
Andrea - wife of Pals Jim.
