update 05 10 2010
reasons for why feel like 'is this worth it?'
this weekend
there was a ICU RN they had found to come.
a 5 hour shift.
stayed for 3. then left
refused to give communication device.
has a client on a trach and can read lips.
'no need to waste time with those things'
(about dynavox communication device).
set up food and water. YAH
started sponge bath.
became very rough.
joints have become stif and wont
stretch open easily anymore after 10 wks in wheelchair.
knees, elbows stuck in wheelchair shape
feet turned inwards.
bursitis in left hip and shoulder now as diagnosed by PT last week
(or prior one-forget).
RN pulled left arm to straighten it so tightly
she left thumb print on top of wrist and other finger mark on side of wrist.
the fused baby finger, she pried it open
(it has not been able to open for long time, as it is fused)
it is now broken-PT quite certain, no x-rays hospital far away.
no transportation and ambulance was not what i want
to go all day without medications waiting in ER for one x-ray.
what ever it is, or isn't, we can not go back and change it.
swollen bruised and the joint flops like a floppy finger without bones.
on that joint the last two joints still fused.
hands tied -tightly-both of them.
circulation poor hands went to sleep.
took1 1/2 hours before they woke up.
pain was worst yet.
PT came for chest physio.
noted all as well todays RPN noted it all.
reported to agency supervisor.
PT reported directly to CCAC.
as shoulder clicks upon moving even elbow
PT said add heat on every nursing visit.
it's all over but the crying.
tomorrow the favorite RPN arrives.
teresa is wonderful.
she will be gentle.
not hurt.
als society lady sarah
is awesome.
keeps updates asks often.
i believe her
when read her words
like here.
believe the words when read them.
and sleepless again.
pain.
more pain.
had heart 'issue'
same feeling like when had mild heart attack
it started with heart quickly began beating fast.
felt like it will jump out of throat.
checked, it was 186 bpm.
then sometimes went down to 80's
but forgot a couple of beats.
felt bad, like a butterfly fluttering around.
inside there.
and the pressure on chest was like someone sitting on it.
started sweating so much sweat was dripping like in a sauna.
or running long distance.
vomited few times.
slept.
found had vomited again.
the PICC line had become dislodged 6cm away-
RN they sent to fix it,
said it was a few cm away from coming out of heart
where it actually enters.
she was able to flush it and blood came back.
so it still is inside the heart.
good.
as IV antibiotics will start next week.
doctor comes from holidays on 12th.
to prescribe them.
blood test shows sepsis.
we all waiting with hope 1 week
will not be too much.
PICC line RN said watch site carefully.
it had been exposed and not sterile for oer 24 hours.
if infection enters site
direct route to blood stream at best,or to the hear all t==.
worse if directly to heart.
tired now.
this is reason to say.
ignorance serves a purpose in previous post.
the ignorant one was ICU RN.
she made a call speaking her language and said the word honey 3 times.
heard a mans voice.
i had told this RN previously when she made many calls
and text messages.
that she was not supposed to be making personal calls or texting while on shift
this time as saw her doing it
but could not communicate.
she saw me watching.
she said she only called her mom and asked if there was honey in the fridge
for ham she was cooking that nite.
and it was not texting by checking her voice mail.
i am not stupid.
i know you need to put phone to ear and listen to voice mail
messages.
not sit and text to listen to them.
i post a thread how i thought you can help if you'd like.
thank you,
for not discarding me to the trash. bin.
-minna
