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Gigi,

You are sooo not alone. My mother is getting to a similar position as your's and most days I am anything but, composed. Please know many of us struggle to be strong, supportive and helpful all the while feeling as if we are about to loose it. I have lost it, even in front of my mom and I think it actually was healing for both of us. I just screamed this isn't fair, it wasn't supposed to be this way! Mom agreed, cried a little, we hugged and pretty soon we were laughing. I know it sounds crazy doesn't it?
Always around to talk. Lean on us, especially when you reach that point. Also, I pray constantly for peace for mom and us all.

Love,
Holly
 
thanks! :eek:)

everyone made it through thanksgiving in ONE piece... it was really enjoyable and everything went the way it was supposed to... mom's best friend's family came over and everyone had a good time.

at the moment i am being driven ::crazy:: by my "aunt" (who neither I or my dad see as family at all)... my mom's 3rd cousin or something, Chrissy (mom's an only child) is very very overbearing. she'll call 4 times a day... we have caller ID for that purpose. on the rare occasion my dad answers the phone she asks a million questions... what is mom doing (obviously not MUCH) where everybody else is... how she is eating, what has she ate... what medicines has she had today and in which doses... and a host of other personal questions. she even calls my dad's sister (my only real aunt) who lives out in arizona to discuss my family. during my childhood, these two NEVER talked, and in fact, as a kid, i can remember Chrissy badmouthing her or speaking sarcastically about her. i don't forget a thing and i'm very critical of fakeness... so naturally i'm very territorial about my immediate family.

when chrissy stops by my house, she orders us around and is very manipulative. do this. do that. run to the store. buy your mother this type of juice. (she doesnt need or WANT this type of juice!) if she has something to tell my brother, she tells me to talk to him about it... and then runs out of the room saying "tommy gigi has something to tell you!" she's been this way for a while. ever since my mom was diagnosed. tries to guilt people into everything. i feel aweful saying this but for a long time i've felt her presence as an intrusion. ah, i'm just rambling at this point.... but if people keep asking me "how's your mom?" i am going to SCEAM! what am i supposed to say? GOOD?!?! hah. not sure whether to laugh or cry.
 
Just tell your mom you love her... Talk about all the good things you shared, the things you learned and the memories and love that are in your heart. And then tell her you will never forget. No regrets.
 
Excellent advice, Kay.

But I have one of those relatives! Mine is hard enough to deal with on a good day, never mind during a crisis! I don't know if this would work or not, but can you tell Auntie you need help and send her off to the store, dry cleaner's, pharmacy and a bunch of other places? (I think my relative would then debate whether or not we need to do all those things, as her speciality is in running her mouth, not doing any actual work, LOL!)
 
oooh, here we go. sorry I have not been around too much... busy thanksgiving & such! mom made it through the holiday with flying colors and is still hanging on. the hospice nurse said she would have passed before thanksgiving and definitely before i went back to work dec. 10th... but she is still hanging in there. i am hoping she makes it through this holiday. she's been taking morphine so that calms her down and she can hang out now on oxygen and not use the bipap all the time... she only needs it during anxiety attacks and while sleeping... which is good. i will not be home again until Jan 5th so the best i can hope for is for her to hang on until then... she's a very strong willed woman, so we shall seeeee.

how did everyone's thanksgivings go? usually we go over her best friend's house in PA but we decided it would be too much of a hike with everything... the machines and whatnot so everyone came here this year and everything went smoothly and well...

and im off tomorrow morning at 7:30 for san diego... i'm not very good with goodbyes... at ALL so just hoping mom can hang on for 25 more days...

cheers,
gi
 
gi,
glad you had a good holiday. I had a very blessed Thanksgiving, my favorite in years-during the blessing at lunch, my brother in law was saying the prayer, and of course...

the emotional lability part of my ALS came thru and I burst out laughing when he said "friends and family...", everyone at the table WAS family! And I just couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes!

Then he finished the prayer and we all ate like we were starving.

get some rest, I'll certainly keep you and your family in my prayers,
-brenda
 
back!

i have been gone for a bit.... working on the west coast in san diego and in cabo san lucas mexico. believe it or not, mom's still hanging on. i was supposed to do a 2 week yacht charter beginning the 21st however things are worse than ever and i think it's time to fly back home... it's a good call and a decision that i won't live the rest of my life to regret.

i'm sitting on a 70' sailboat docked in the harbor downtown cabo listing to drums and seeing all the palm trees lit up and tourists and family having a blast... no way can i stay on a boat working for a disgustingly wealthy & happy family while my own mother is at home being given morphine every morning and wishing to see me.... not cool...

i think i am making the right decision.
 
I agree GigiDi. Have a Merry Christmas. I know it's not easy.

AL.
 
Hello GigiDi. I bet you made the right decision. There will be other charters, but you only have one Mom. I hope she is comfortable today...Cindy
 
she seems comfortable... i arrived home last night around 8:30 pm... a LOT of people were over.... she is laying immobile with the bi pap with her head cocked back to one side and the hospice lady has her on some sort of heavy morphine/adavan cocktail. when i walked in the door, she got excited and opened her eyes to see me for about 10 seconds and that was the last time she ever opened her eyes... dad said she was waiting for me. she hasn't had them open since. she's pretty motionless with a faint pulse all day. she has not had food or water in days. but it's been like christmas because about 30 people have been coming and going from my house day/night since last night.... we have a tiny family mom is an only child and dad only has a sister with 2 kids so friends who are as close as family have been keeping company and bringing food. its really great to not be alone right now. our house is crowded but everyone has been amazing. many tears but also some laughs. it's a shame that it takes times like this to bring everyone together....
 
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could do something to help
You are no alone
In friendship
Jeannie
 
Gigi,

I look back on this same period of time with my dad (and mom) with such a feeling of unreality. I also wish I could help you. But I think you've done the best thing you could do simply by coming home to be with her. These moments are so sad, but precious.

Debbie
 
In a way, your family is lucky to have everyone nearby at this time. So many folks make this transition alone or nearly alone. Your family and friends sound like blessing.
 
Gigi, you are in my thoughts. I know it's not easy but try to have a "Buon Natale."
It is so nice that your family is all there together and that your mom is surrounded by loved ones. Best wishes to all of you! :smile:
 
Gigi: You are in my prayers. My mother died recently and I was there when she passed on to the company of Our Lord.
 
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