Just a bit over 4 month's in S/P

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Buckhorn

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Hi all. Just checking in. Nov. 4th was the 4 month anniversary of Dave's passing. I miss him every single day, but, I will admit ....... less so as time goes by. I think of him, or of phrases he would say, or things I knew he would want to talk about, multiple times per day. I have conversations with him inside my head. But I can come home now without feeling the CRUSHING weight of loss. I will miss him forever, I am certain of that. He was unique & very special to me.

I fill my days with working when I am needed (1/2 days, flex rehab. PTA) and planning/going on long overdue trips/visits with family and friends. I am leaving in a few days for AZ, visiting my oldest brother Bob, who I have not seen in over 3 years and who has had two strokes and a broken hip in those intervening years. My other brother & SIL are coming down from UT. Then I will accompany them back to UT for a few days and finish off in Las Vegas for a few nights, visiting several nephews too.

I am happy at the prospect of visiting family, but also have my moments of sadness, wishing Dave would be there too. Sometimes I feel like I have not fully "processed" Dave's loss/death. But I also know that after 33+ years in healthcare and fully knowing and witnessing the fragility of life, maybe I am a bit more pragmatic about death.

I'm just hoping that I do not experience some type of delayed grieving process. I know that there is no "correct" way to grieve, as there is no average timeline. But, for now I think I am handling things pretty well and am surprised at how well I have been coping.

Wishing strength to all CALS & PALS, past and present. Big HUG to you all!
 
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lgelb

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Glad you are getting to catch up with family! Sounds like a great trip. Do post a pic.

I think the only delayed grief is if you didn't have a bolus up front. After that, I think it comes in waves when it gets triggered, as when others here die as Wish says, but overall it stabilizes. It is our survival mechanism to go forward and not get caught in the undertow.
 

Narrowminded

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07/2007
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Buckhorn - I’m happy to hear you are doing well overall. I’m also happy you are going to get to do a bit of traveling to visit family. It’s something I really miss, being together with family for special times. I’m happy for you.

Hugs
 
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