If you haven't gotten a PEG yet, don't read the following. The starter tubes are REALLY easy to use.
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OK, I've finally got the new tube figured out. It's a whole other procedure than the long tube, but I managed to do it solo this morning, without the contents of my stomach spurting up all over my face and medicine cabinet. (Which reminds me of a very funny scene in Portnoy's Complaint, altho it had nothing to do with feeding tubes.)
This model has to be used lying down. If you're standing up, it's all going to come out rather than go in.
So: assemble materials and prepare site. Dissolve meds in small cup, get cup of supplement, prepare easily grasped bottle of warm water for flushing, funnel, tube brush. Spread towels on bed, have box of tissues nearby.
Go to bathroom, open tube over sink. Attempt to dislodge remains of last feeding, which have turned to cottage cheese in tube, using funnel filled with warm water. Poke brush into tube and jab it up and down. This will hopefully irritate the solidified supplement enough that it will release its grip and get ejected. Once visible tube is empty, replug tube. Wash out sink and clean mirror above it. Wash face if necessary.
Go to bedroom. Assemble materials on table, lie down on bed with knees up, and position open water bottle on crotch leaning against legs, unplug tube, insert funnel (in the tube, Glen. In the tube). Funnel will keep trying to slide out, but grasp it and the tube firmly together with left hand, and flush with small amount of water. This will start the intake process.
Pour meds into funnel. Still holding funnel and tube together hard with left hand, flush with a little more water, pick up cup with supplement, pour serving into funnel. Set cup down, remove tissue from mouth damming up drool, and blot drips that fell from the bottom of the cup onto your abdomen. Replace tissue in mouth, pour another serving, remove tissue, blot, etc. When feeding is complete, flush with whatever water is left in the bottle from tipping over during activities, and using both hands, gently remove funnel. While in a prone position, nothing will spurt out.
Replug tube, throw towels and nightgown in laundry basket, wash lower half of body, wash utensils, and sit upright at computer for 1/2 hour until stomach contents are settled. During digestive process, write sarcastic posts to forum.
Plan B. Get someone to do it for you.
Don't know how long I can continue to solo on this. My hands are mighty weak. My niece, who helped me work out the prone technique yesterday, pointed out how much simpler it would all be if the funnel could screw into the nozzle of the tube, so that air or other stuff in the stomach couldn't keep trying to force the funnel back out and you wouldn't have to hang on for dear life trying to keep them together.
I would love to have my long tube with the clamp back. Even the heavy binder clamps can't pinch off this tube if you are standing, as it is very stiff plastic. My gastro guy is the greatest in the world, but was clearly not thinking of how an ALS patient would do this procedure alone with this kind of tube design. (Actually, he didn't know I was doing it alone, as he said something about "whoever is taking care of you is doing a great job." When I lose the use of my left hand completely, in about 2 months or so, I'll have to work out a new plan. Maybe go to one of those automatic drip machines I can drag around with me in an IV stand.
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Netty, it is so nice to see a post from you again. We all miss you and Freddie; through you, we got a chance to know and love him. Take care.
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Rose, your hair is beautiful! Looks a little lighter, and is very glamorous and youthful. A new look for the upcoming birthday girl?
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Plus, the tube still sticks out in front. I am getting smart-ass remarks from visitors. I plan to make a sign and pin it to my dresses (I only wear things now that go over my head and hang loose. Cannot pull up slacks or undo snaps).
The sign will go above the tube, and read: "This is not a feeding tube. I'm just happy to see you."