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Markbreton

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
102
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
02/2006
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Smiths Falls
Well, it finally happened. My wife fell...thank gawd she had her cell phone on her. She was able to text my cell phone as she can no longer speak..at all! Unfortunately when i saw the message I was an hour away from home and she had sent the message 3 hours earlier! Panic set in....I text her back and asked if she was OK and all I got back was "I can't". I called 911.... They connected me with one of the constables who was on duty whom I knew very well. She flew to the house and found Tammy lying on the floor, helped her up and stayed with her for awhile. Tammy had tripped and she does not have the strength to lift herself back up. 2 days later another trip but this time the children were home (teanagers). Tammy split her head open and had to be rushed to the hospital for stiches. She can no longer eat, has a peg tube, can no longer speak, has a voice machine, uses bipap at night but can still walk with a walker. She stopped driving a month ago. A nurse comes in every day to meet with her, but Tammy will soon require more help than that. I like many others cannot quit work...we have children in school and University. I now take piles of antidepressants to help me cope and I could take more. I HATE seeing my love like this and I feel so helpless. The ASL society assigned me a coach to help me deal with this...he lost his wife to ALS 4 years ago and I just love him....turning out to be a great friend and support person. But even still when I get home and see Tammy struggling with so many things it always brings a tear to my eyes. She has a much better outlook than I have. If I could just find that darn lamp...3 wishes would be, make Tammy better, find a cure for ALS, stop global conflict. But alas only in my dreams. I try to stay strong for my wife, hug her every chance I get, tell her i love her a 1000 time a day, do everything I can to help her and its never enough....I'm failing!
Mark
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
You're not failing Mark. You are doing the best you can do under the circumstances. After I fell a couple of times the CCAC OT suggested that to be safe my walking and standing days should be over. We now use the ALS Society Hoyer Lift for all my transfers. I'm a bit more progressed than Tammy but it might be a good time to have her needs reassesed by the OT. Try not to panic. You'll do OK.
AL.
 

Markbreton

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
102
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
02/2006
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Smiths Falls
Thanks Al, I've been reading and sending updates to this forum for well over a year now and I always appreciate your thoughts and comments...
Mark
 

brooksea

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
5,171
Reason
Other
Country
HM
Mark,

Sorry about your wife's falls!

You are doing the best you can my man! Your wife is lucky to have you!

Can you get one of those Life Line things that alert a neighbor or 911 if she falls? She can wear it around her neck or wrist.

My elderly mother wears one and it works quite well! She presses the button and a dispatcher from the company calls her on a box to see if she is OK. If she is not, they then call the designated contacts to check on her or call 911 if warranted.

Wish you the best in all of this.
 

Jeannie

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
222
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
US
State
NJ
City
Vernon
Dear Mark,
You are NOT failing. You are doing the best you can under these circumstances. You are doing all you can for your wife and family. There really should be more help out there for people with ALS.
Stay strong, you are doing a GREAT job
In friendship
Jeannie
 

CindyM

Moderator emeritus
Joined
Sep 17, 2006
Messages
3,543
Reason
Learn about ALS
Country
US
State
New England
City
Anytown
Mark- you are a superman to cope with all this, plus a job and teenagers too! You should be feeling exausted, man, not like you are failing! I like Al's advice. Maybe if Tammy gets re-evaluated, she can qualify for more services. She and the kids are lucky to have you! :-D
 

fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
Mark,
All I can say is you are not failing. It's unbelievable the stress and sorrow you are dealing with day in and day out. I wish all legislators were required to read some of the these posts daily so they could see the struggle PALS and CALS go through every single day and night.
My heart goes out to you. I think Al's suggestion is good--a re-evaluation by OT and maybe your wife not walking anymore. It's too risky.
I'm so glad you posted again and updated us on her condition. Words cannot describe how sorry I am about her decline. I hope you can gather some strength somehow.
Peace,
Jane
 
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