Sandy,
I forgot to say: I am terribly sorry for your loss. You loved him with all your heart, so of course you are going to be hurting. There are so many competing emotions at a time like this - heartache, relief, frustration, exhaustion, anger . . . let alone the eternal "WHY?" Three and a half weeks later, I'm still on a roller coaster.
I don't mean to presume to know what you, personally, are going through - it's just that you've written so eloquently about your experience.
Peace to you,
Debbie