Is this the end?

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berlies

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Joined
Oct 16, 2018
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Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
01/2019
Country
US
State
GA
City
Dallas
My mother in law was diagnosed in January of this year, and has deteriorated quickly. She hasn't been able to move or talk for some time, and although she has a feeding tube she was able to eat some food by mouth until a few weeks ago. At that point - things went downhill fast. She started experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort and had no interest in food or water through her feeding tube. On good days, she's been getting maybe one "feed". We've been able to find the right medication to keep her comfortable, but with the limited food and water she's been increasingly getting weaker. For the last few days, she has been asleep 90% of the day and we're wondering if this is the end. If so, what kind of time frame are we looking at?

I'd also love any advice on how to be there for my husband as we enter this stage.
 

lgelb

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Nov 5, 2009
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9,134
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Lost a loved one
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00/0000
Country
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WA
City
Seattle
I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Since she is now less active along with taking in less, the time frame is hard to say, but it does sound at least like the beginning of the end. Peace of mind and comfort are paramount, so whatever provides that, from music, to softer light, scents if she likes and tolerates them, to holding her hand, gentle massage, it's all good. And of course reassuring her that you both are at peace, love her and she doesn't need to worry about anything.

As far as your husband, just generally, anything else you can take off his plate so he can be present for his mom is helpful, and later, reassurance that he has done his best by her, as I am sure you both have.

Best,
Laurie
 
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