terrifiedmommy
New member
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2015
- Messages
- 3
- Reason
- Learn about ALS
- Country
- US
- State
- GA
- City
- Atlanta
Good Morning,
I want to start off by thanking anyone and everyone who takes the time to read and respond to my post. I am a new mother, twenty seven years old, and scared that I am going to pass away and leave my baby without a mother. She is 2.5 months old. I have a wonderful husband who has tried to "settle me down" about my concerns, but when something is physically happening to you, you cannot simply avoid it. It's easier said than done.
My beautiful daughter was born 2.5 months ago, via C-section. I had TWO epidurals during labor and they both shot to the lower left side of my body and never in the right. I felt everything in the right side of my body, but nothing on the left. The spot where both epidurals went in is still sore to this day when I bend forward.
About a month after her birth I had this strange sensation in my left bicep and left quad. They felt "weak," but they were not weak. I was given an MRI of the brain and CT scan to rule out blood clots, stroke, etc. and those came back normal. The neurologist who saw me tested my reflexes in those limbs, for sensation changes, and for strength: pushing against his hands with my arms and legs, resisting his pressure when he pushed back, and he noted no differences between the limbs on my right side vs. my left side. I did not mention my fear of ALS to him, because it has only been in the past month since then that this fear has overtaken my life.
Two days after my visit, I was trying to go to sleep when suddenly my left leg jerked. It was like it had been pulled down by an invisible force. I had never experienced anything like it before. This heightened my fear, because I have read that ALS symptoms can include involuntary jerking of a limb.
After my visit with the neurosurgeon I began fixating on ALS, not smart or safe I know, because it can create symptoms you don't truly have. My husband became so worried about me he sent me to a doctor, who prescribed me 50mg of Zoloft daily. I began taking this prescription and realized that it made my jerking worse; other limbs began jerking. All of a sudden, my arm would jerk out or my head would jerk down (mainly happening when I was trying to drift off to sleep as I can only recall one jerk happening while I was awake). The jerks started to settle down (as I took my medicine in the morning rather than at night to see if the effects would wear off before I tried to lay down for the night), and I went through a few weeks where I did not have any jerks that I know of.
My anxiety was improving, but I could not shake the feeling something was wrong with me. I asked my doctor about upping my dosage of Zoloft and she agreed I could double it. I started of trying 75mg a day, trying to ease myself into the full 100mg dosage. A couple days of 75mg of Zoloft, when I laid down at night I felt like my left quad was vibrating/buzzing. I couldn't see it through my clothes, nor feel it with my hand, but it was there. I blamed it on the Zoloft and stopped taking it. I didn't even go back down to my 50mg. dosage. Between the jerks and then the vibrations, I didn't think it was the medicine for me.
Without medication, my anxiety has worsened and it doesn't help that there are physical sensations in my body that keep ALS in my forefront of my mind. I tried to stay off the forums and the heinous Dr.Google, but once the idea of ALS was put in my head, I have not been able to switch it off or stay away. I am going to list my symptoms below, in the order they appeared, with hopes somebody has some insight of what is going on with me. Since my 7th month of pregnancy I have had lower back pain and that has not subsided post-baby.
1st: the "funny" feelings in my bicep and quad. Those feelings of weakness (not real weakness) subsided, but my quad is still scaring the daylights out of me.
2nd: jerking of left leg when drifting off to sleep (and then the other limbs too, but those only after taking Zoloft. The jerking limbs returned last night, two days after the INTENSE vibrations set off in my leg. Left arm and leg jerked.
3rd: body-wide twitching. First noticed a twitch in my quad to the left of my knee cap. Have then experienced them in both of my feet, my calves, my quads (on both legs), bicep of right arm near elbow, bicep of left arm when applying pressure (such as leaning on this arm or flexing hard), chin, eyelids, lip. Random, single pops throughout different parts of my body: literally one little POP in the muscle and then it moves on. The twitching is what makes ALS stay in my brain 24/7. I can get the twitches to stop when I put the muscle to work. They typically do not return to that area after I settle the muscle to rest, but they can. I am not twitching 24/7, but it's enough to keep me on edge all day, which probably causes more twitching. Saturday my thumbs both twitched (about an hour apart) and the whole thumb (each time) jerked up.
4th: buzzing in body. This mostly started in my troublesome left quad, but I feel it in both legs/feet at times (usually only in my heels in my feet, not really through to the toes), in my arms when I lean on them, and they always seem to stem from the joints in that limb. I feel them stronger when I lean on my elbow or bend my knee. Buzzing/vibrating feeling in throat, chest, back. I also had a few burning joint sensations (shoulder, knee, and hip on left side, but those have subsided).
5th: Vibrations in muscles. The newest and most unsettling symptom yet. The past few days and a couple times last week, my left quad feels like it is vibrating, shaking. I cannot see, but it is a STRONG vibration that is there off and on throughout the day. Bending that leg seems to make them worse. I do not feel them when I am walking and they seem to go away after resting the leg (I don't notice them right when I wake up in the morning), but if I am standing still, bending over (while standing) to change my daughter's diaper, driving (although I do not drive with this leg, I keep it bent at the knee towards me) so it's not technically in use, and sitting in a chair (I cross my legs at the ankle, pulled back under my chair normally), these vibrations are there intermittently throughout the day. It makes me think that when the quad is being stretched, these vibrations happen, but when I actually pull the leg back and stretch it, the vibrations do not return until I put the leg back out). I don't know if it's a type of spasm, fasciculation, or spasticity, but it's there. It's not painful (although my hip joints hurt), just incredibly strong and uncomfortable. Again, I don't feel it when I am in motion, but if I am still, there it goes. Sometimes I feel it when I an fidgeting my legs, but I am almost afraid to quit bouncing/moving my legs for fear of this weird sensation. I can get the vibrating to stop (most of the time), but it's getting stronger it feels like.
6th: This is a non-symptom, but I feel like I need to put it in here. I have no weakness that I can measure personally. I have done so many self tests, I can think of. I have walked on my heels, walked on my toes, lifted heavy items with my hands and each individual finger, rushed up and down the stairs, walked down the stairs backwards on my tip toes, stood up out of a chair using one leg (the left leg [the problem leg] did this just fine, but my right leg couldn't do it more than once. I had my husband try to do the same thing, but he got the same results. His right leg could do it, but his left one could not. He works a manual labor job, is physically in better shape than I am, so this helped me ease a little, but not enough.) I read that ALS fasciculations are not HARD, THUMPING motions in the beginning and that they do not move entire limbs or digits, but as with this disease, nothing is ever concrete. I am a teacher and do not seem to have issues forming words. I do not slur or mumble and I have not noticeable issues breathing or swallowing solids/liquids. So I ask all of you....
Do all of these symptoms sound like a presentation of ALS or extreme anxiety for fear of ALS?
I want to thank everyone in advance for reading my long-winded story and for any response I can get as I am TRULY petrified!
I want to start off by thanking anyone and everyone who takes the time to read and respond to my post. I am a new mother, twenty seven years old, and scared that I am going to pass away and leave my baby without a mother. She is 2.5 months old. I have a wonderful husband who has tried to "settle me down" about my concerns, but when something is physically happening to you, you cannot simply avoid it. It's easier said than done.
My beautiful daughter was born 2.5 months ago, via C-section. I had TWO epidurals during labor and they both shot to the lower left side of my body and never in the right. I felt everything in the right side of my body, but nothing on the left. The spot where both epidurals went in is still sore to this day when I bend forward.
About a month after her birth I had this strange sensation in my left bicep and left quad. They felt "weak," but they were not weak. I was given an MRI of the brain and CT scan to rule out blood clots, stroke, etc. and those came back normal. The neurologist who saw me tested my reflexes in those limbs, for sensation changes, and for strength: pushing against his hands with my arms and legs, resisting his pressure when he pushed back, and he noted no differences between the limbs on my right side vs. my left side. I did not mention my fear of ALS to him, because it has only been in the past month since then that this fear has overtaken my life.
Two days after my visit, I was trying to go to sleep when suddenly my left leg jerked. It was like it had been pulled down by an invisible force. I had never experienced anything like it before. This heightened my fear, because I have read that ALS symptoms can include involuntary jerking of a limb.
After my visit with the neurosurgeon I began fixating on ALS, not smart or safe I know, because it can create symptoms you don't truly have. My husband became so worried about me he sent me to a doctor, who prescribed me 50mg of Zoloft daily. I began taking this prescription and realized that it made my jerking worse; other limbs began jerking. All of a sudden, my arm would jerk out or my head would jerk down (mainly happening when I was trying to drift off to sleep as I can only recall one jerk happening while I was awake). The jerks started to settle down (as I took my medicine in the morning rather than at night to see if the effects would wear off before I tried to lay down for the night), and I went through a few weeks where I did not have any jerks that I know of.
My anxiety was improving, but I could not shake the feeling something was wrong with me. I asked my doctor about upping my dosage of Zoloft and she agreed I could double it. I started of trying 75mg a day, trying to ease myself into the full 100mg dosage. A couple days of 75mg of Zoloft, when I laid down at night I felt like my left quad was vibrating/buzzing. I couldn't see it through my clothes, nor feel it with my hand, but it was there. I blamed it on the Zoloft and stopped taking it. I didn't even go back down to my 50mg. dosage. Between the jerks and then the vibrations, I didn't think it was the medicine for me.
Without medication, my anxiety has worsened and it doesn't help that there are physical sensations in my body that keep ALS in my forefront of my mind. I tried to stay off the forums and the heinous Dr.Google, but once the idea of ALS was put in my head, I have not been able to switch it off or stay away. I am going to list my symptoms below, in the order they appeared, with hopes somebody has some insight of what is going on with me. Since my 7th month of pregnancy I have had lower back pain and that has not subsided post-baby.
1st: the "funny" feelings in my bicep and quad. Those feelings of weakness (not real weakness) subsided, but my quad is still scaring the daylights out of me.
2nd: jerking of left leg when drifting off to sleep (and then the other limbs too, but those only after taking Zoloft. The jerking limbs returned last night, two days after the INTENSE vibrations set off in my leg. Left arm and leg jerked.
3rd: body-wide twitching. First noticed a twitch in my quad to the left of my knee cap. Have then experienced them in both of my feet, my calves, my quads (on both legs), bicep of right arm near elbow, bicep of left arm when applying pressure (such as leaning on this arm or flexing hard), chin, eyelids, lip. Random, single pops throughout different parts of my body: literally one little POP in the muscle and then it moves on. The twitching is what makes ALS stay in my brain 24/7. I can get the twitches to stop when I put the muscle to work. They typically do not return to that area after I settle the muscle to rest, but they can. I am not twitching 24/7, but it's enough to keep me on edge all day, which probably causes more twitching. Saturday my thumbs both twitched (about an hour apart) and the whole thumb (each time) jerked up.
4th: buzzing in body. This mostly started in my troublesome left quad, but I feel it in both legs/feet at times (usually only in my heels in my feet, not really through to the toes), in my arms when I lean on them, and they always seem to stem from the joints in that limb. I feel them stronger when I lean on my elbow or bend my knee. Buzzing/vibrating feeling in throat, chest, back. I also had a few burning joint sensations (shoulder, knee, and hip on left side, but those have subsided).
5th: Vibrations in muscles. The newest and most unsettling symptom yet. The past few days and a couple times last week, my left quad feels like it is vibrating, shaking. I cannot see, but it is a STRONG vibration that is there off and on throughout the day. Bending that leg seems to make them worse. I do not feel them when I am walking and they seem to go away after resting the leg (I don't notice them right when I wake up in the morning), but if I am standing still, bending over (while standing) to change my daughter's diaper, driving (although I do not drive with this leg, I keep it bent at the knee towards me) so it's not technically in use, and sitting in a chair (I cross my legs at the ankle, pulled back under my chair normally), these vibrations are there intermittently throughout the day. It makes me think that when the quad is being stretched, these vibrations happen, but when I actually pull the leg back and stretch it, the vibrations do not return until I put the leg back out). I don't know if it's a type of spasm, fasciculation, or spasticity, but it's there. It's not painful (although my hip joints hurt), just incredibly strong and uncomfortable. Again, I don't feel it when I am in motion, but if I am still, there it goes. Sometimes I feel it when I an fidgeting my legs, but I am almost afraid to quit bouncing/moving my legs for fear of this weird sensation. I can get the vibrating to stop (most of the time), but it's getting stronger it feels like.
6th: This is a non-symptom, but I feel like I need to put it in here. I have no weakness that I can measure personally. I have done so many self tests, I can think of. I have walked on my heels, walked on my toes, lifted heavy items with my hands and each individual finger, rushed up and down the stairs, walked down the stairs backwards on my tip toes, stood up out of a chair using one leg (the left leg [the problem leg] did this just fine, but my right leg couldn't do it more than once. I had my husband try to do the same thing, but he got the same results. His right leg could do it, but his left one could not. He works a manual labor job, is physically in better shape than I am, so this helped me ease a little, but not enough.) I read that ALS fasciculations are not HARD, THUMPING motions in the beginning and that they do not move entire limbs or digits, but as with this disease, nothing is ever concrete. I am a teacher and do not seem to have issues forming words. I do not slur or mumble and I have not noticeable issues breathing or swallowing solids/liquids. So I ask all of you....
Do all of these symptoms sound like a presentation of ALS or extreme anxiety for fear of ALS?
I want to thank everyone in advance for reading my long-winded story and for any response I can get as I am TRULY petrified!
