International Division of Grief

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wishmobbing

Senior member
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
Messages
729
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2017
Country
DE
State
Germany
City
Stuttgart
The good memories of my boyfriend are something I cherish, his weaknesses and quirks are something to chuckle about with friends. I'm a happy and pretty much trigger-free widow.

Except when one of our PALS here takes leave. That always pulls the rug from under me and I howl like a hound. I wouldn't even say it brings it all back. It's just that one unshakable shaken post that tells us that someone is GONE.

But then... they're somehow not. A very good friend asked me if it was crazy that he talked to my dead PALS in his head, like he used to talk through his everyday grievances with him to get his perspective. That made me smile. It makes my boyfriend the best researched fictional character and immortal at the same time.
I don't consult with my dead boyfriend because I was always right anyway. ;) But it comes natural to me to take on some of his partialties. Spinning his records, even enjoying good burgers more and of course be better friends with "his" friends. I'm so thankful to have inherited all that.
 

Narrowminded

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,601
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
City
Pittsburgh
Wish it sounds like you’ve got a pretty good handle going. I hope and pray it lasts. My MIL was the same with the loss of my FIL. It was about a year in when she really started missing him. We are all different though and I’m thrilled you are happy. :)

Hugs
 

KateEmerson

Senior member
Joined
Apr 23, 2016
Messages
508
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
MA
City
Boston
Great to hear from you Wish ! Still the sassy girl I so enjoyed reading the posts from. Take care, Kate
 

KarenNWendyn

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Jul 29, 2017
Messages
3,542
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
07/2017
Country
US
State
OR
City
Southern Oregon
I love your attitude and always love hearing from you. It sounds like you’re grieving in a healthy way. I’m glad you seem to be enjoying life.
 

Nuts

Forum Supporter
Extremely helpful member
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
2,536
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2014
Country
US
State
NC
City
Littleton
Wish, how wonderful to read your post.

I have noticed that I'm taking on more of Matt's traits. Maybe I'm no longer fighting for my own identity--I'm not sure, but I feel his strength. I'm also enjoying food like I never have before--something that was huge with him.

I thought I was strange. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone.

Becky
 

Lkaibel

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,361
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
You are inspiring me Wish, I am glad you are happy.
 

Buckhorn

Senior member
Joined
Jan 3, 2016
Messages
725
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2015
Country
US
State
PA
City
Small town
Wish, great to hear from you. I am glad that you are moving along well with your life, ...... no regrets, and keeping the memory of your BF alive. I am trying to do the same.
 

NinaP

Distinguished member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
144
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
04/2018
Country
GR
State
KO
City
Ptolemaida
Wish i didnt know u lost your Pals, my deepest sympathies and condolences . Shows how self absorted i have become all this time. Iam glad you are ok, you are such an inspiration to me. He was a lucky guy to have u.
 
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