Status
Not open for further replies.
God, I love this forum and all you wonderful CALS! Yes they checked for a uti but all clear.

He said this morning that it's too hard and he wants to go and to please help him. At least I think that's what he said. I hope he wasn't talking about a BM! Nurse coming again today at 4.

More of his relatives arriving today. Thank goodness they are staying in their RV! His brother a wonderful help, the rest could stay away as far as I'm concerned.

Sherry
 
Thanks for the update Sherry. It's so hard to watch his like this I am sure.

Is he still sleeping a lot? Are they giving him plenty of meds to help him?

I'll just keep holding your hand xx
 
Sherry that's the trouble with family, sometimes it's unfortunate they come as a package deal!
You definitely sound like you are having a better day.
Take care of you, God bless, Janelle x
 
Sherry it is a mixed blessing with family! my sister in law is here and I love her but she is not a lot of help. I am glad it gives you comfort knowing we are all here with you, and thinking of you from all over the world. I know it helps me.
 
It does give me comfort to know you're all here.
Last night was horrible he started choking at 2:00 am and cough assist didn't work, had power and lights but wouldn't cycle on auto or manual. Got him up in his chair and tried to suction him but he kept clamping teeth on tube and wouldn't let go. Choked until about 5:30. Got mfgr customer service on phone and they asked questions and said we need to contact Dealer in Denver by calling our local VA. Called hospice nurse, VA nurse and texted respironics rep. VA "working on it" local respironics rep offered to loan us hers but she had appointments all day, director of Hospice called in a favor and had new cough assist delivered & set up in two hours.
Nurse came and no fluids in lungs, but very diminished. BP 101/52. Said choking may happen again tonight and to give morphine every hour to give him peace and she thinks this is the beginning of the end.
I had so hoped for a peaceful passing rather than see him struggle so!
Sherry
 
Oh Sherry, my heart aches for both of you. I do so hope that the morphine helps tonight and that both of you find some peace. Much love, Becky.
 
Oh hon, the choking is so awful for both of you.

Did you give him any morphine in the early hours when you couldn't resolve the choking with your equipment failures? It really does make a big difference as it relaxes and opens the airways a little and takes the fear level down.

I'm so glad you have another machine for tonight and I'm holding your hand just that bit tighter. Honestly, use the meds though, they can make so much difference.
 
Thinking of you Sherry. Hoping you are okay. Hugs to you. Steph
 
Steph, Tillie, Becky, Barbie, Janelle,

Yes, using more morphine. Every hour as needed. I was afraid the morphine was causing the choking, didn't realize it would relieve it. Yes, he's sleeping almost all day and most nights except last. When awake he can no longer talk and repeats and repeats the same thing. Right now it's I want, I want, I want or I need, I need, I need but never finishes.

Barbie, I posted a list of daily chores to be done and got better at asking, would you please.....

As well prepared we were we never completely discussed this stage. I'm pretty sure I know what he wants....

Sherry
 
Sherry I made communication charts.

Clearly type or write keywords in big text for what he might want and only have a dozen or so words on each page.

When he starts I want I want, you can hold up the chart and ask is what you want on this page? The more muddled he is the less words per page.

Things like - TOO COLD, TOO HOT, TOILET, SIT UP, MORPHINE - just the basics.

I could hold up the chart and point to the words and he could raise his eyebrows a little if I got what he wanted.

Chris could use charts like this until his very last couple of days by which time he didn't know what he wanted either, I just provided care, lots of sitting with him, music, candles, gentle hand massages, face washing, stroking and loving talk.

Still holding your hand girl
 
Sending prayers. You are doing an awesome job.
 
Are you giving him any fluids or nutrition?

I stopped giving both 2.5 days before Chris passed. He was obviously actively dying and wanted to go. I only put enough water down the peg to give a tiny flush after his morphine. I believe that also helps.
 
Sherry, I KNOW how scary the choking is. The one reassurance I can offer is that most of our PALS pass peacefully- and I will pray that is the case for you. You are his rock- remember that each hour of the day, my dear. Hugs to you. Donna
 
Sherry, there are no words to say how sorry I am. Prayers and thoughts for the both of you. Let you heart guide you right now and know you are doing great. Hugs!
 
Sherry, thinking of you both. He knows you have done everything you could. If he wants to go and you want to let him, you might keep reassuring him about that, asleep or awake. Just be with him and let him feel the touch of your hand, the sound of your voice, his favorite music in the background.
--Laurie
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top