I just love you all sooooo much! I love your advice, I love your support and I did want to twist his "bells" off! lolol It was HORRIBLE to go through for both of us. The Blessing is that I now have home suction and HOPEFULLY this experience will be a lesson for other PALS & CALS and they will not have to go through this as we did! That was the horrid part of it for me, I was so f*#&@ng helpless! Yes, Web is a pig headed pragmatic man. :] I can not nor will I attempt to force him to give up what he chooses to do with his life. Yes, I could force him to do what I know to be best but at what cost to him, to us? I can not imagine how this is for him...I can not take anything from him or emotionally force him to do what I would like. He is doing the best that he can. He is living the moments the best that he is able. I can not ask for more than that from him. Yes, his choices sometimes make me sad and puzzled and sometimes even angry. And yet, I can feel at peace because the only thing that I can offer him is unconditional support and love. I give him the facts, I offer up what I would hope that he would choose and then I accept his decision. Even when his choice is not what I would want, I have such respect for him. I am amazed at his daily courage. He is not willing to live his life dependent on machines, dependent on me. I honor and support how he chooses to define the moments of his life. Some days are harder than others! At least the next time that he chokes on that damn cup of coffee I will be able to suction him! If it works, FABULOUS! If it doesn't, at least he got to do what he wanted.. He says to me, "What is the worse thing that can happen if I drink coffee?" He has a point doesn't he! I hope that you will continue to stand by me as I stand by this pig headed pragmatic man-I will need you more in the days ahead and at least I can vent my frustration safely here with all of you. I am not strong nor am I brave, I just am a child of the Prairie who HOWLS at the moon, has a pack of Flying MONKEY'S and Ruby Red Slippers. Hugs, Kay Marie