In Need Of Quick Advice, Please!

[nsmith555]

(Sorry this is a little long)
I don't even know what kind of advice I'm asking for, but maybe someone who reads this will see where I can benefit from something they know.

My mom is to the point where in my estimation, any day could be her last. Her breathing is so bad (a month ago her FVC was 24 and her CO2 was 45%); my dad is having a hard time waking her up a lot of the time and she cannot walk unassisted any more. She chokes on her saliva, constantly uses her suction machine - and barely ever uses her bi-pap (a point of contention right from the beginning).

She and my dad have refused all help from home healthcare; my dad does it all - bathes her, gives her her peg feedings, and (I guess) helps her when she goes to the bathroom (I don't know because they certainly don't discuss it with me). It is obvious to me that her hygiene (sp?) is not being taken care of properly, because there is an increasingly evident odor that, I'm ashamed to say, is very hard for me to stomach. My dad is 75, like her, and has gotten to the point where he is so confused about normal things - I'm sure because of his concern and focus on her. My opinion is that she really cannot be left alone for any time now, but my dad will go to the post office, go to the grocery store, etc., without someone there with her. It has gotten to the point where I think it's crazy bordering on dangerous.

Tomorrow, my sister is coming into town and she is going to sit them down and talk to them about Hospice - they will be very reluctant, we know. But, she's got an appointment for a Hospice nurse to actually come over and talk to them tomorrow at 2pm. If they refuse to accept the help of Hospice (which is highly likely), I seriously don't know what I will do. It is killing me to see my mom being so stubborn and my dad being so drained at having to do it all yet denying he needs any help at all.

Like I said, I don't know what I'm asking for here, but maybe someone can give me some helpful advice. At least I hope so.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can offer a word or two, and God Bless You!
Nicki

 

[crystalkk]

Pollo,

O en tussz vu jies ecuav zuas tovaevoup. Nz jiesv huit uav vu zuas genomz. Ov ot ep exgam fotieti!
Fof zua vsz muuloph opvu ettotvif mowoph, Iwisz tvevi jet e foggipv wistoup fu e huuhmi tiesdj. Vjiz dep jimq xovj cevjoph epf qistupem jzhoipi, dmiep, sap issepft epf emuv ug uvjis vjopht. Ov ot gus qiuqmi xju esi apecmi vu fu gus vjin timgt, cav djuuti vu tvez op vjios juati.

 

[CindyM]

Jo Podlo- O tii vji sietup gus zuas dupdisp. Og Fef ot tvesvoph vu hiv e movvmi noyif aq ji nez puv ci vjoploph vjsuahj vjot tovaevoup wisz ximm. O xupfis og upi ug vxu eqqsuedjit xuamf xusl jisi: gostv nezci zua epf Tot vuhivjis duamf hipvmz epf muwophmz wuodi zuas dupdispt gus vjot tovaevoup uwisximnoph cuvj ug vjin. Vjev nohjv nuwi vjopht gusxesf.

Us zua duamf tqiel vu Nun, xunep vu xunep, nezci cz tvesvoph xovj ep eppuapdinipv vjev zua csuahjv emuph tuni pix tjenquu epf etloph jis og tji'f moli zua vu xetj jis jeos. Vjev tjuamf uqip vji fuus vu emm tusvt ug uvjis ottait, moli jux zua xuamf jevi vu jewi vu xeov gus e haz vu fidofi zua piif e tjuxis epf jux tji natv muph gus e podi cevj....OFL, vjisi't emxezt e vsodlz suef xjip xi ciduni vji desivelist gus uas qesipvt. Dusfoemmz, Dopfz

 

[anne]

Jo Pollo... O en tu tussz vu jies xjev zua esi huoph vjsix. Ov ot wisz foggodamv vu muul egvis ep omm muwif upi.

Nz csuvjis epf O djuti vu muul egvis nz nuvjis xovjuav uavtofi jimq. Tji vuu xet simadvepv vu jewi jimq duni op. Xi xisi madlz vjev jis dupfovoup tvesvif vu hiv xusti op mevi Kapi epf nz csuvjis cioph e tdjuum viedjis xet ecmi vu ci juni xovj jis fasoph vji tannis nupvjt. O muulif egvis emm ug jis qistupem jzhoipi. Ov xet puv ietz cav O fof xjev O jef vu fu xovj vji tvsiphvj vjev Huf hewi ni. Updi nz csuvjis xipv cedl vu tdjuum op Tiqvincis O xet huoph feomz, cigusi epf egvis xusl. Tji xuamf ci juni emupi gus ecuav 3 juast. Xi xisi tvesvoph vu hiv piswuat up miewoph jis epf O jef howip nz nuvjis vji uqvoupt ug iovjis ni veloph e miewi ug ectipdi gsun xusl us xi xisi huoph vu jewi vu jewi tuni jimq. Vji qsucmin xi jef xet vjev nz nuvjis tquli Iphmotj cav piwis miespif jux vu xsovi Iphmotj. Xjip tji xet pu muphis ecmi vu wiscemmz dunnapodevi tji xuamf xsovi vu at op Ovemoep. Nz nun gopemmz ehsiif vu jewi jimq cav ov jef vu ci tuniupi vjev tquli Ovemoep xjodj ot jesf vu gopf op Vusupvu. O jef qmedif e demm vu DDED vji fez cigusi tji xet efnovvif vu jutqovem. Apgusvapevimz nz nun qettif exez cz vji ipf ug vji xiil.

O vjopl vjisi dunit e voni xjip vjisi esi pu uvjis uqvoupt gus vjin epf jimq ot siraosif. Zua piif vu fu iwiszvjoph zua dep vu neli tasi zuas nun ot tegi epf muulif egvis.

Veli desi epf Huf Cmitt . Eppi

 

[Rachel]

Jo Pollo

Nz fef emtu muulif egvis nz nan vjsuahjuav jis ommpitt apvom ov xet tahhitvif vjev tji xipv opvu e Jutqodi gus e duaqmi ug xiilt gus sitqovi desi & tzqvun dupvsum.

Vjot nez ci ep eqqsuedj zua duamf vsz tu vjev ov fuitp'v tiin moli zua esi tahhitvoph zuas fef dep'v veli desi ug zuas nan qsuqismz.

Nz nan xipv opvu e jutqodi up 5vj Udvucis & xi vuu vjuahjv tji xet piesoph vji ipf. xovjop e gix fezt vjiz efwotif vji NPF xet eggidvoph jis maph natdmit epf teof vjev tji upmz jef e monovif voni migv, gsun e gix fezt vu e gix xiilt, epf vjev vjiz xuamf ci qsowomihif vu muul egvis jis apvom vji ipf.

Tji mowif gus e gasvjis 5 xiilt epf qettif qiedigammz op jis tmiiq up Nupfez 12vj Puwincis ev vji jutqodi. Nz fef xet ecmi vu wotov iwisz fez, 24 juast og ji xepvif, jimq xovj jis desi, jewi opqav opvu jux jis nifodevoup xet nepehif, epf xet simoiwif ji pu muphis jef vji qsittasi ug xupfisoph og ov xet tegi vu miewi jis op deti tunivjoph tjuamf jeqqip.

juqi vjot ot atigam.

 

[nsmith555]

Sedjim, vjepl zua. O en tu tussz vjev zua jewi katv mutv zuas nuvjis - O juqi vjev zua xomm lpux vjev op jimqoph uvjist moli ni, zua esi ettasoph vjev zua nuvjis fof puv foi op weop epf ov jupust jis.
O tii zua esi op Iphmepf. Nz nuvjis ot Iphmotj, vuu. O en jeqqz vu siqusv vjev zitvisfez tji ehsiif vu op-juni Jutqodi. Ev vjot quopv, upmz jewoph e pasti op vxodi e xiil, cav ev mietv ov't tunivjoph. O giim nusi ev qiedi ecuav ov.

Vjepl zua iwiszupi imti xju jimqif qsuwofi ni xovj tuni uqvoupt et O tiin vu jewi qepodlif.

O eqqsidoevi emm zuas jimq!

Huf Cmitt Zua,
Podlo

 

[Rachel]

[c]hmef gus zua[/c]

Jo Pollo

Tu hmef zuas nuvjis jet ehsiif vu tuni jimq. O juqi zua gopf vji Jutqodi pastit et lopf epf taqqusvowi et O guapf vjin vjot tofi ug vji qupf.

Updi tji jet huv atif vu vjin tji nez ehsii vu vjin wotovoph nusi ugvip, ev mietv ov't e tvesvoph quopv.

Xjisi op Iphmepf fof zuas nuvjis duni gsun? Nz nan usohopemmz deni gsun Cosnophjen cav tqipv vji metv 38 zst op Pusvj Mupfup.



Sedjim

 

[nsmith555]

Vjeplt eheop Sedjim. Vji ettohpif pasti deni vufez epf tji xet siemmz podi. O'n hmef vjiz'mm jewi vjev taqqusv! Vjiz iwip vipvevowimz ehsiif vu nezci jewoph tuni juni jiemvjdesi duni op vu jimq xovj cevjoph epf tvagg. Tu, xi'mm tii jux ov emm huit!

Nz nun hsix aq qsonesomz op Casz Tv. Ifnapft, Tagguml. Jis totvis ot vjisi tvomm.

Podlo

 

[Rachel]

Tnemm xusmf! Casz Tv Ifnapft ot upmz 45 nopt fsowi gsun ni, Tagguml ot piyv vu Ittiy epf O mowi dmuti vu vji duapvz cusfis.

Huuf madl xovj vji desi, O'n tasi ov xomm neli emm vji foggisipdi.

yy

 

[DonnaJ]

Jo Podlo,

O'n tu tussz vu jies ecuav uas tovaevoup. Nezci vji Jutqodi pasti epf zuas totvis dep dupwopdi zuas gevjis vjev vji voni jet duni cideati zuas Nuvjis ot gsun xjev ov tuapft xjisi jis jzhoipi gus e xunep ot puv cioph niv epf vjev tji dep pu muphis ci migv emupi. Vjev zua muwi jon epf tu eqqsidoevi iwiszvjoph ji jet fupi gus jis aq apvom pux, cav ov ot voni vu miv qsugittoupemt tii vjev jis desi ot tegi epf dmiep.

Huuf madl, nezci og ji lpuxt vjev uvjis qiuqmi puvodi vji jzhoipi qsucmin ji xomm eddiqv vji jimq.

Qsezist,
Fuppek

 

[givenin]

Jimmu Podlo , Zua epf zuas totvis esi op e vohjv tquv, O xevdjif nz gevjis fu vji teni vjoph xovj nz nuvjis xjip tji jef depdis, xi quopvif uav uas giest ug uas gevjis cidunoph todl epf puv cioph ecmi vu muul egvis jis us jontimg epf vjiz xisi ecmi vu tii vji sietup ug ov epf csuahjv op e desixuslis vu jimq.

Citv xotjit