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Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
I would like to share my pain with my new family (ALS/MND Support Group Forum). I am not too good with words, but I will give it my best shot.
On June 18, 1968 my Almighty Father blessed me with a beautiful baby boy that weighed in at 7lbs.12oz. He was such a precious baby. Everybody told me that he was too pretty to be a boy, and beautiful he was. He was my firstborn, and he became my soulmate from that day on. How I loved that baby! Two years later his brother Shannon arrived. Another cutie. I was the mother of 2 boys, and now I am the mother of one. It was very hard for me to type this down. My son grew up a happy little boy. He was so kind to little animals. He loved dogs. My baby was born in Houston, Texas. I named him Rudolph Rojelio Cantu, and he was known as Rudy. The name Rudy will forever ring in my ears.

My son started having little issues with tingling under his eyes, around his mouth, and he felt tremors in his hands. Little did I know that he was going to be struck by a "killer disease." The issues started around October, 2002. I urged him to see a doc, but his reply was, "Mom, it'll go away. I'll be fine." Shortly after that he started coughing pretty bad, 24/7. He went to ER, and they couldn't find anything wrong with him. He didn't complain for a long time, and I thought everything was okay. He started complaining again in 2004 or 05, that was when I told him he had to see a doc. His speech was slurring. They set up an appointment sometime in 2006, March 29, 2006 was when he was diagnosed'ed. My world came crashing down. I haven't been the same since. I actually watched my son waste away right before my eyes. I felt so helpless. How I wanted to trade places with him. It is so heartbreaking when your loved one is losing all mobility, you actually see the everyday changes. It hurt me so bad when he tried to rell me something, and I could not understand him. You would not believe the amount of weight he lost! I wanted to die!

My son passed on June 3, 2007, 15 days shy of his 39th birthday. He passed at home. I watched my baby take his last breath. He looked so peaceful after he passed. I will never forget how he looked. He was born a beautiful baby, and he was still beautiful when he passed. I held my baby a lot before he passed, I cuddled with him, and held him, and talked & talked & talked to him the whole time. I talked to him about a lot of beautiful things. My poor baby could not talk, but I saw a few tears running down his face. My heart broke! My angel had a beautiful funeral. He is buried next to my mom, dad, and brother. He asked to be buried there. It is beautiful and peaceful. I visit my baby often. I write sweet notes to him, and stick'em in the ground! Cute,eh?

Yes dear friends, my love for my baby will never die. I am lookig forward to meeting with him again. I know we will meet again. Thank you very much Al, Cindy and David for creating this thread. I hope I didn't make this too lengthy. May God bless you all! Love you all, we are like family!


Irma

Rudy Rest In Peace Sweetheart
I Love You Always!
 

myooshka

Active member
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
97
Country
CA
State
alberta
City
Sylvan Lake
Irma this brought tears to my eyes! I am just so grateful my son is healthy as I can't imagine what it would be like to see your child go through this. I saw the pictures of your son Rudy he was truly beautiful. Thanks for sharing, Mya
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Thank you mya! Yeah, there is a very special place in my broken heart for my baby. Yes, my baby was beautiful! Thank you, mya! God bless, keep in touch friend!

Irma
 

MtPockets

Very helpful member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
1,528
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
05/2006
Country
US
State
Ms
City
Gulfport
A Picture in memory of Rudy.

 
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Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
I am thanking you from the bottom of my heart Capt. Al. May God bless you. God answered my prayers, I wanted to put up a pic for my son, but I am not too computer savvy (LOL) I am lucky to be posting! I showed the pic to my husband, and he said thanks, "Really nice," he said. He is going to be waiting for you guys at the top of the stairs, with his Father by his side. I love this forum, it is so full of love! May God bless you!

Irma
 

trustinggod

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
154
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
CA
City
Lake Forest
Irma,

Your post about your son Rudy was beautiful.

My heart hurts for you and although I've never experienced the loss of a child, as a mother of four I can imagine the depth of sorrow you feel.

Thankfully you have the hope of heaven and the peace that only can come from our Father in heaven. I've come to a better understanding of the biblical truth of "storing up our treasures in heaven" since my experience with ALS.

I wanted to share this poem that was written by a friend who watched Linda (my PALS)
throughout her 4-1/2 battle with ALS. This poem was written hours after Linda died - one year ago today.

For Years we've always known,
the measure of your faith.
We knew whatever came your way,
you'd handle it with Grace.

You've taught us what we need to know,
to have a relationship with Christ.
But how could we have ever known,
You'd teach us how to leave this life.

At first the news was unbelievable,
it couldn't be happening to you.
We all tried to ignore it,
but eventually faced the truth.

As days turned into weeks,
and months turned into years,
You faced it all with dignity,
and very little tears.

You seldom got discouraged,
and always seemed to smile.
Knowing deep within yourself,
you had left, but just awhile.

You got things done that mattered most,
for Amanda, Geoff and Steve.
Never thinking of yourself,
and holding strong to your belief.

That God, he holds the master plan,
that we aren't free to know.
But one thing you were certain of,
is where you were to go.

And now you sit beside Him,
as the two of you are one.
And I'm sure the first thing that He said,
was "Daughter, job well done!"

God Bless you Irma,
Jeanne
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Jean, thank you so much. That poem is just beautiful! Thanks a lot for the reply. I am going to get me a blank card, write this poem down on the card (hope you don't mind), take it to my sons grave, and leave it there for my baby. Thank you again. There are times when I am okay, and I have some sad days, too. My son has really gotten the whole family so much closer to God. Quite an experience! God bless you, and may your beautiful friend Linda rest in peace! Love your posts!

Irma
 

trustinggod

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
154
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
CA
City
Lake Forest
Irma,

I know Linda would love that the poem would bring peace or joy to someone else.
Although she never heard or read it on this earth I know she smiles in heaven now
knowing that she was a good witness for the truth of God's love and provision.

In a couple of hours I'll be going to her home to spend the day with her family. Her husband wanted to have several of the people who were there those last few days
gather together today and remember Linda. One of the things we'll do is make almond roca. Linda always loved making it (her specialty) and giving it away to friends and family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. So we'll make it and give it away in memory of her.

I wish I could share some with all of the wonderful people on this forum.

Happy Friday,
Jeanne
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Linda, that is nice, for you folks to get together in Linda's memory. I am planning on doing something on my son's departure anny, too. I am giving it a lot of thought on what to do , what to have, where, and such. What I would love to do is invite a bunch of folks over to his grave, and have a little gathering there in his memory.
God bless!

Irma
 

JohnAE

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2008
Messages
2
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Houston
Rudy

Irma,

I hope this finds you in good health and spirits.

I will miss Rudy. The time I spent visiting with him and with his family was a great blessing in my life. I remember his talking often of you and of his family. He was positive in his attitude in all our visits.

God bless you,

John English
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Hi John! Yes, I know who you are! I remember you! Yes, my son was stricken with this terrible disease. He was diagnoseded on March 29, 2006, and passed on June 3, 2007. My son was so special to me. He was my firstborn, he was my soulmate, my hero, and whatever else. I miss him so, but am moving on. If you ever want to visit his grave, let me know. All you have to do is reply to my post, and we'll meet at the cemetery where he is buried. They finally laid down his marker (with picture) after nine months. It is nice. I cried when I saw it, it is beautiful! I am doing okay, Mr. English, keep in touch! My computer was down for a few days, that is the reason why I am late in replying! God bless!

Irma
(Rudy's Mom)
 

JohnAE

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2008
Messages
2
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Houston
Rudy

Irma,

I have good memories of visiting with Rudy. He was a good young man and seemed to be a hard worker and faithful to God. I saw him once after he had been diagnosed and he had a strong outlook even then. He always had a smile when I got to see him and visit a while, really liked the starbucks coffee. I miss Rudy, but he's with our Lord now probably helping out around the place. Thanks for sharing some of his time with me.

John English
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Hi John, thank you so kindly for replying, and God bless you for the wonderful things you mentioned about my son. Yes, my son was a good person. I miss him a lot. I went to a cousin's wedding reception today at the Richmond House (nice place) in Richmond. First time I been to Richmond in a while, and it brought a tear to my eye.
After I left the reception I went to the cemetery to visit my son's grave. I had a pretty good day.
Thank you again, and God bless. Yes, he loved that Starbucks coffee!

Irma
 

hopingforthebest

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 20, 2007
Messages
355
Diagnosis
02/2007
Country
US
State
NJ
City
Mays Landing
Oh Irma

I read your beautiful post about your precious son Rudy. My heart was crying for you as I have two sons 30 and 34. It is their Dad that has ALS. I am so thankful to God that my husband's ALS will not be passed to sons as he had extensive testing to confirm.

I will always remember you in my prayers. No parent should have to bury a child. God has him in His arms as we speak.

God bless you sweet Irma.


Patty
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Thank you Patty. May God bless your sons, and I will keep your wonderful husband in my prayers. You're right, it is hard to bury a child. I was in a thick fog during my son's funeral. It was quite an experience. I don't know how I managed to put my son's eulogy together, but I did. I didn't read it though, I couldn't. My then 15 year old grandson read it for me. I had started the eulogy before he passed, he got to read part of it, and he was pleased. You see, I thought he was going to be with us a little longer, so we did not get to finish it together, because he started having issues, and before I knew it he was gone. We were right in the middle of making plans for his funeral, as to what he wanted, he gave me the list of pall bearers he wanted, then he started feeling tired. Oh, how I hate this damn disease! My baby, he is now my angel, I feel so protected and "well guided."

Irma
 
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