I'm so tired of the suffering.

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lisaohgee

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My mom is so miserable. She is suffering. She has hospice care. She won't take certain medications because she doens't like how they taste. She won't use oxygen because she doesn't like it on her face It's so obvious she is ready to die. And she has to sit here and suffer.

Why, if our pet is suffering, we take them to the vet and put them out of their misery, but if our loved ones are suffering, we just have to make them continue suffering till they finally are at peace?

I'm so fricking angry. I'm going to buy a cemetery plot. I've picked out a funeral home. My stepddad can't handle it, which is fine. I'm 32 years old and planning my 55 year old mother's funeral arrangements.

Why can't this just be ****ing over.
 

corbster98

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Lisa.... I am so sorry. I just want to send you some hugs b/c honestly there is nothing I can say to ease your pain and frustration right now. I can empathize as I am only 36yo and my Dad is just over 60.
 

asantiago

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I'm so sorry you're going through this as I know and understand the pain you feel. I was there once and it is agony. I hope she passes soon and its peaceful. Do you have hospice there?
 

lisaohgee

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Yes hospice is there. The nurses come every day, and she has music therapy. My stepdad won't use any of the other help -- such as the aides to help bathe her, etc., but at least she is getting medication and is being seen by medical personnel.
 

Jim Mulligan

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I agree with you Lisa. We have no qualms about putting animals out of their misery, but if the same thing is asked of a person, it is illegal and frowned upon (to say the least).

Is your Mom of the same opinion you are? If so, there is a book called "Final Exit", which goes over the legal issues, and practical issues of self-deliverance.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Jim
 
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Having just been diagnosed with ALS I am at peace with my death but not with the way ALS takes my life. I could rest so much better knowing that I have some say in how my final exit might play out. The last assisted suicide by Dr. Kirvorkian was a ALS sufferer. That action put him in prison,oh what a shame that he was punished for doing such a humane action. The freedom of choice is all that ask.
 

twinmommie72

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Ohhhh i understand! Even the slime on death row get a quick ticket out! I just dont get it. I know what you are going through is beyond the pits. Hang tough, go outside & scream, or call the Pres & ask him if he enjoys his meals, embracing his family, walking, talking, breathing. ALS should be viewed as national disaster (because it is) and have all educated working arond the clock to fix it. 70 years...thats shameful. I could care less whats on the moon. The billions should have been used for saving lives.

Sending Big Hugs
 

Barbie

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Lisa, you have every right to be so angry and tired of watching her suffer. I said the exact same thing over and over when my mom died from Alzheimers and colon cancer. it was excruciating and horrible and I was so happy when she died. I hate that we do not have the right to die with dignity and on our own terms legally.

I hope you feel all the love sent your way from this forum!
 
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Thank you Jim for the info about the book "Final Exit", I just ordered it. The only states that assisted suicide is legal are Oregon and Washington neither of which I live in.
 

jessielf

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HUGS to you and your family. I am 31 and my mom has ALS and shes 53. I am so sorry that you have watch her suffer, that is my fear when my mom gets to that point. I wish I could just hug you right now and take away the pain. Will be thinking and praying for you, your mom and family!

Jessie
 

ScarlettK

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Lisa,

How precious you are to care for your Mother in this way! She knows how much you love her, and I am sure she doesn't like you hurting in this way. Continue to be the loving daughter that you are to her, you will never regret giving all you can to her during this time in your lives.

I send you virtual hugs and kisses and send up prayers for you and your family.

Kaye
 

lisaohgee

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Thank you everyone. And Barbie, I do feel the love, and I love coming here knowing people understand.

Many of dr. k's patients were ALS sufferers, and who can blame them. I know my mom is done. She can't talk to me but I can see it in her eyes. It's almost as if she is pleading with me to help her, which makes it all the worse.

My mom is gone, ALS took her from me. I want to finish mourning her.
 

Sammantha

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Sounds like your mom is controlloing what little she can and if she is not using oxygen than she may go a lot faster......maybe thats why she really wont wear it...I wont know until i get to heaven but there is something to be said for suffering. Even though its hard-- think if your child was in the hospital you would want to be with them every second and soothe them through their troubles, do that for your mom because one day she will be gone.
 

lgelb

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Depending on how your hospice is staffed and its philosophy, Lisa, if you and your mom make clear (to the medical and nursing directors as well as the staff that come to you) that prolonging life is not your goal, they may make choices/suggestions that respect this. You have some power, too, that no law can prevent you from exercising.You also may have a choice of hospices; I don't know.

There is a fundamental divide, which may in part relate to religion, between those who think suffering serves a purpose and those of us who think otherwise. You will find good people on both sides of this line, but you may never know where they stand and how they might help your mom on this journey, unless you declare yourself.

I hope that you both find peace soon.
 

hangingon1

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I know what it is like for you. I look at my wife and ask, how much more can she take? I believe the ones that go early are much better off than dragging it out. This is our 3rd year with this monster ruling our lives. ALS steals so much from a family. Peace, Joy, rest, money, time, energy and on and on and on. It is the biggest bummer of a disease known to man, because there is no steady state that last long or that can be anticipated. It is usually tingling, loss of hand, loss of arm, falling, loss of one leg, more falling loss of standing, loss of both arms then quadriplegia. Along in their somewhere your brain gets out of whack and you may have a change of personality. It is a complicated pile of manure that no one should have to go through.
 
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