If only our minds could escape for a little while!

[soonerwife]

My sweet PALS got me a spa package for my last birthday. He knew I wasn't thrilled about turning 29 again, lol!

I went today. It was really awesome. 3 hours of pampering.

The problem is I just can't seem to turn off my brain... I tried my hardest to relax and just enjoy it but my thoughts kept creeping back to living wills, feeding tubes, etc. UGH!

If only we could just escape for a little while!

On the other hand, I am a lucky girl to have such a sweet husband that wants me to be able to relax...

 

[affected]

I always felt guilty if I could escape it for a while.
As a CALS, to be sustainable, we need the breaks to prevent burn out.
But I would always think, but Chris never gets a break, he can't escape and wind down from it ever.

Still, the spa package was a wonderful thing and even if you couldn't turn your mind off completely, I bet it did you the world of good. What a wonderful present!!!

 

[JennyC]

I actually was able to escape for awhile twice this summer, once was a week at my dads and while I didn't totally forget about what was going on with my mom I did have other things to focus on. The next time was last week when we went to the lake with friends, I did again think of mom here and there but mostly I was able to just relax, have fun and feel normal both times....but you know what? Coming back to reality was harder after the escape, feeling normal felt so good that coming back to the truth was even more devastating at least for me it was.

 

[bigmark1954]

My sweet PALS got me a spa package for my last birthday. He knew I wasn't thrilled about turning 29 again, lol!

I went today. It was really awesome. 3 hours of pampering.

The problem is I just can't seem to turn off my brain... I tried my hardest to relax and just enjoy it but my thoughts kept creeping back to living wills, feeding tubes, etc. UGH!

If only we could just escape for a little while!

On the other hand, I am a lucky girl to have such a sweet husband that wants me to be able to relax...

Try getting HI before you go to your next session! It will help focus you on the experience.

 

[scaredwifetx]

Mark...you are to funny. Soonerwife, I am so happy that you were pampered with a spa visit. It's also very hard to completely clear my mind also. But anytime you spend not thinking about it all is good time. Our minds and bodies need the break and I think our PALS are very happy when we do so. Hopefully, it did your body and mind some good.

 

[lgelb]

For what it's worth, the most positive experiences I had during my husband's life (which, as some of you know, included a generally-fatal genetic disorder so constant care/surgeries throughout our relationship) were in the "hit through the court" spirit (a weak tennis metaphor in honor of the Open), not escaping, forgetting or getting away.

It was really a parade of little unexpected kindnesses or successes for him and/or me, usually involving strangers, that I remember now, not any be-all, end-all experience.

That's not very well-expressed, but maybe helps someone.

Best,
Laurie

 

[gooseberry]

My husband was not one for the grand gesture. I would have loved a spa package. I get massages every couple of weeks and feel so much better. I dont know if it is working out the tightness, the relaxing, or just doing something for me. I have a feeling its a bit of all of them.

 

[KimT]

Take a Valium before the SPA treatment. You will relax. I'm with Mark.....get by with a little help from my "friends."

 

[gooseberry]

Kim if I did that I am not sure I could move. I leave with a low 50s pulse rate.

 

[KimT]

Steph,
Low doses of Valium never did anything to my pulse rate. When I was healthy, I took it as a muscle relaxant for the repetitive stress injury on my neck from too much looking up and down on the computer 10 hours a day (and auto accident herniation of c-spine.) Anyway, my resting pulse rate was always on the high side (runs in my family.) Valium never slowed it down but I never took more than 5 mg (usually 2mg). I've been taking it for 30 years, usually in very low doses. It was the ONLY muscle relaxant that worked. Some of the more traditional ones made me flush and feel high and that was a very scary feeling for me.
I guess everybody is different and I never suggest anyone taking a drug without knowing its effect on them.

 

[gooseberry]

Took a muscle relaxer for awhile but the massage maintains my body and mind. Even though I work in medicine, I am really fetting away from meds, doi g more natural things...like essential oils, honey, probiotics. I feel much better.

 

[Atsugi]

... I just can't seem to turn off my brain...

Funny story: After she stopped several days of screaming while coming down cold turkey from heroin, the dental technician in the women's cell gave me some advice on how to "blank out" my busy mind so I could get to sleep. It's a little like hypnosis.

The first thing is to write reminders next to your alarm clock so you know for sure you won't miss any appointments. Then, concerning your problems, reassure yourself that the problems you have at this moment will not get any worse overnight. Thinking about them will not change a thing, so the best thing you can do to solve them is to get the best sleep you can. You need to blank out your mind.

She said to lie totally still in a fairly dark room wrapped in a blanket to keep the temperature constant. (Silence might be best, but I play Moody Blues at an almost imperceptibly low volume.) Then find a tiny bright dot, like a reflection on the ceiling. Watch the dot while focusing on your feet. Make your feet and ankles relax totally. Once successful at relaxing them, move up the body, piece by piece, taking a few seconds to make each part relax completely. By the time you get up to your head, you'll be asleep. Best of all, you've completely blanked out your mind.

If that doesn't work, I repeat in my mind, over and over, "Blank...Blank...Blank.'