Ontario caregiver
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2005
- Messages
- 76
Just read the assisted suicide post and found it sad, one because a love one wants to die and the other has to feel guilty for the love one.
As a caregiver I am always glad that I have helped Gary though all stages,( gary has had ALS for over 8 years probably more like 11 years). He has problem with breathing and is on his bi-pap 24/7. He had talked about having a higher morphine pump at the later stages when his breathing became more than he could bear, as explained to him this would put him into a sleep mode and gradually he would die. What is hard is just the same as assisted suicide, as you know the outcome. I guess what I am trying to say is it is so sad for the caregiver, in my case I support Gary but to be coming closer to this stage of the disease I find it emotional, and at the same time selfish to let him go. I am also so tired and hate this disease that my greatest fear is how will I feel when it is over. Will I be releived of all the stress of caring and caring and caring or will I hate myself because I am tired and regret some days of all the caring and caring I have given.
Well this was my day to type and type and type, but I will always be glad to have done what I could for Gary and I only wish him the best, so today is important and what tomorrow brings is still far away.
Sorry for my sad writing, but today was just a hard one when Gary said it will be soon to call the doctor to proceed with the pump, but you know tomorrow IS ANOTHER DAY and his breathing may adjust a bit better, and life will go on.
Thanks for listening
As a caregiver I am always glad that I have helped Gary though all stages,( gary has had ALS for over 8 years probably more like 11 years). He has problem with breathing and is on his bi-pap 24/7. He had talked about having a higher morphine pump at the later stages when his breathing became more than he could bear, as explained to him this would put him into a sleep mode and gradually he would die. What is hard is just the same as assisted suicide, as you know the outcome. I guess what I am trying to say is it is so sad for the caregiver, in my case I support Gary but to be coming closer to this stage of the disease I find it emotional, and at the same time selfish to let him go. I am also so tired and hate this disease that my greatest fear is how will I feel when it is over. Will I be releived of all the stress of caring and caring and caring or will I hate myself because I am tired and regret some days of all the caring and caring I have given.
Well this was my day to type and type and type, but I will always be glad to have done what I could for Gary and I only wish him the best, so today is important and what tomorrow brings is still far away.
Sorry for my sad writing, but today was just a hard one when Gary said it will be soon to call the doctor to proceed with the pump, but you know tomorrow IS ANOTHER DAY and his breathing may adjust a bit better, and life will go on.
Thanks for listening
