I hate that word too! i hated that I joined this club, it sucks. I would give all of my tomorrows for one yesterday. I miss him so much! reminders are everywhere, of what was, what could have been, what can never be. people try to understand and i know they mean well.. but they dont have one damn clue, unless you have joined the ranks yourself. It makes my blood boil when they dont have a widow spot, and even worse when they do. some people know.. some dont. I hate the pitty face that those who do give me... and I hate the reaction when people who dont know tilt ther head and say... oh im sorry, it must be awful. ya think? really? no... its been great, i think everyone should buy stock in it.