I lost my father to this disease

[califsand]

Carl,

Many of us identify who we are so closely with who are parents are and it is hard to not have them around in defining moments of our lives. Although you don't have reason to feel guilt, it is not abnormal to feel that way. With the loss of our parent (mine died 6 1/2 weeks ago) we lose part of ourselves... we lose that person that we want to share all of our accomplishments with and that we want to turn to when we are disappointed. It is terribly sad to need them and for them to not be there. It is also normal to be angry at them for leaving us... even after watching them be sick and suffer from something as awful as ALS. No matter what age we are, most of us look to our parents often for guidance, an example, comfort and unconditional love. It is hard to live without those things, especially from a parent that you may have been able to really relate to while growing up. Maybe this issue becomes harder for you now than when you were younger because you are craving those things only a father can give to you. You are embarking on the adult phase of your life and feel the loss of him. Counseling may be a great way to help you cope with the feelings of loss and while it may seem strange to some that you feel you need it now, so many years after he has passed, there really isn't anything strange about it at all. I'm impressed with your ability to articulate what you are feeling and hope to hear that you seek the help you deserve.

Take care,

Sandy

 

[Marjorie R. Wilcox]

What I felt when each of my parents died, was the realization that I had never lived without them before. There was a big hole in my life that I had to fill with other expectations. I knew what they would say if they were still here, and I knew they still love me from afar. M

 

[GigiDi]

eventhough it has been 8 years since he passed away and nine since my stepmother passed the memories seem very vivid and the pain can still seem so raw. I am writing this one because I cannot sleep and two because I have never wrote about this part of my life in a open forum, in a wierd sense I felt guilt and shame about it like I was totally alone in this pain. I think its time I do more then just visit thier gravesite, I figure I should start talking about, this seems like a good first step, hen maybe one day ill join a group and meet face to face with people or seek one on one counselling anyone who has a suggestion or would like to talk is more then welcome to reply to this I am grateful a site like this exists

i feel the same way about this forum. after my mom was diagnosed, i did not even tell some of my close friends... i did not think it was my place to burden them with the news or the idea of it. as a result, i really did feel alone all this time. guilt... shame.. etc. and i never shared my feelings... i'm glad you finally were able to get your emotions off your chest, and i'd like to thank you for sharing the story about your father.

cheers,
gigi