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Sandee

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Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
24
Reason
Friend was DX
Country
US
State
Indiana
City
New Castle
My dearest friend has been diagnosed with ALS and I so want to be there for him and help him through the upcoming difficult days in his life but I already am hurting so badly, I can't sleep and I just can't make sense of any of this at all. My friend is a good person who has always helped out others. He didn't do anything to deserve this and I am just so overwhelmingly sad and I absolutely Just feel like dying. as it hurts that badly! :cry: I'm new to all of this. Does it ever get any easier?,

sandy
 

CindyM

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Sep 17, 2006
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Learn about ALS
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New England
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Anytown
Yes it does, Sandee. Then it gets hard again and then you adjust and so forth. There is nothing wrong, BTW, with asking your doctor for somehting to help you cope. Look at it this way, you will be doing it for yourself as well as your friend. The better you are able to cope, the more help you will be to him. Cordially, Cindy
 

Michael S

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Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
17
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
Alabama
City
Daphne
Sandy,
Just yesterday I spoke with a friend who lost her husband some time ago, and she was consoling me concerning my wife's ALS... and she said this, "you may never get over it... but time has a way of healing your pain...". I'm not sure I can fully appreciate that right now with my wife Vicki's disease, but looking back to some rather trying times when losing my mom and dad, and grandmother, I can say that my friend is wrong.
I pray each day for the strength to carry on, and have seen some rather startling results which are making this journey a bit more bearable. I'll keep you, and ALL others who caregive in my prayers... and Cindy gives some fine advice as well... Your doctor can help you cope...
Michael S
 

Sandee

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
24
Reason
Friend was DX
Country
US
State
Indiana
City
New Castle
Thank You For The Kind And Very Helpful Words. I Will Do Everything I Can To Get Strong For Him! Thanks Again I Just Feel So Comfortable Here And Feel Like I Can Ask Anything About This Disease And Right Now I Just Need To Talk And Again This Has Been So Helpful!,

Thank You Again,

Sandee
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Sandy, I am so sorry for you and your friend. Yes, Als will tear you and your loved ones up. I will keep you and your friend in my prayers. I, too wanted to die when my son got his diagnosed for Als. I had no desire to live. It is a long story. Here I am, 9 months after my son passed. God will be with you all the way. He has comforted me, and given me peace. My heart still aches for my son, and I still miss him so. I have just started to smile again. I am able to carry a conversation, and crack a little joke every now and then. I couldn't do any of that for a long time. I still think about my son a lot, but I am not sad anymore like I used to be. I know his Father called him Home. My late son is still a part of whatever I do every day, but in a different sense. He is gone, but not forgotten. May God bless you, and your friend.

Irma
 

quadbliss

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 12, 2006
Messages
392
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
07/1998
Country
US
State
California
City
Benicia
Hi Sandee,

I thought maybe this short piece (inspired by the thoughts of Andres, another PALS) might help you view these difficult circumstances from a different perspective. :-D

Don't ask "Why me?" ask "What for?". I believe that within every trying circumstance there is a hidden nugget of personal insight; a path to self-exploration and growth. When we approach life from this perspective, difficult times become opportunities.

Mike
 

Sandee

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
24
Reason
Friend was DX
Country
US
State
Indiana
City
New Castle
Thank you all so very, very much. It is helping me more then you know. I even will be registering for an ALS walk here tomorrow. It will be in an area that is pretty close to my neck of the woods and it motivated me enough now to get out and practice and also after I get my forms I will be taking up donations and I am just so glad now that I can do something. I talked to my best friend today and his spirits are very high. He teaches guitar and banjo to elementary students and told me that he will to keep doing that for as long as he can and the kids are perfect medicine he said and so if he can fight then i can fight. Thanks again for just listening and all of the support that all of you have shown towards me. It is appreciated!,

Sandee
 

C.F.

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
13
Reason
Friend was DX
Diagnosis
01/1992
Country
US
State
Me.
City
Corinth
best friends

Sandee, We both are in the same boat. My dear friend has had AlS for several years now, and he has lost use of most muscles. Still, he is wonderful to be with, keeping a positive outlook most of the time. It's hard to see, and so scarey. But I get so much pleasure being able to spend precious time with him, giving him whatever I can to make his life a little easier. He loves to tell me stories about his life and memories, and I love to take it all in! Your friend sounds like a wonderful person, and he's lucky to have you!
Crystal
 

Lorie

Senior member
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
546
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
Uni
State
Alabama
City
Mobile
Sandy-Feel Like Living

I hope that you come back on the forum and read this. I was surprised when I opened my E-Mail this evening and I had an E-Mail from Max. (not sure how). He is very concerned about you. He also told me how wonderful of a person you are and how you have a big ativist heart. I think the two of you have a wonderfu,l special relationship. You are both very fortunate.

This is what I recommend: Instead of Feeling Like Dying, Feel Like Living. Max needs you. Take advantage of doing things that really make him feel alive. Life is not over. If we dwell in Negativity, that is what we reflect. I am glad he has someone that cares so much about him. That is great!

My Second Recommendation: If you plan on being an activist. You are going to have to tufffen up just a little bit. Take it from somebody that knows. It is not an easy road to travel. Especially if you are sincere and dedicated to it.

You are going to make it. And Max is a great guy!

Lorie:-D
 
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