Ruth, I can relate to how you feel. Don't think of yourself as a traitor because you come onto this forum for support, you are NOT throwing him under the bus at all! This is for you and your own mental well being. Just think of it as venting as opposed to "throwing him under the bus." I just joined this forum & this is actually my first post. I've read a lot of them, some broke my heart, some gave me hope but I saw yours and couldn't help but think how much you remind me of my mother. My father has finally been diagnoised (they couldn't/didn't diagnoise it for almost a year) and being the close family we are, the frustrations are sort of like a chain reaction for us.. I feel like my father doesn't do things to his full ability and most times, he won't even try. He'll tell the nurses and aides that come over not to do half of their job because he expects my mother to take care of it. My mother is 62 years old with a bad back but she still bends over backwards and does everything he asks for. Lately, he's been having a lot of cranky days so my mom gets the brunt of it. Then she gets frustrated and aggravated and then when I come home from work, she finds something, ANYTHING, to flip out on me about. I know not to take it personally because I understand she's just upset and frustrated, and although, it has caused a few fights but for the most part, I've become the person my mother confides in, vents and cries to. Not that I mind or don't like it, but I do think if my mother was to join this forum or one like it, where she can talk to people who are going through the same thing we are, it would help her tons. Point is, you aren't going through this alone & I for one, am here for you if you ever want to talk & vent & just get things off of your chest because I see how much better my mom feels after doing same. Don't feel like a traitor, all you're doing is expressing your feelings & you should never apologize for your feelings because you simply just can't help the way you feel!