Zephyr
Member
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
- Messages
- 13
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 02/2022
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
- City
- San Andreas
I am now feeling the tick tock of the als clock. My husband is declining. He is getting set up to do MAID in the next few months.
I am having more issues than he is. He is actually happy now. I suppose because there is an off ramp before he loses his dignity .
He says he naturally is afraid to die, but riding the als bus to the end to him is absolutely terrifying.
Now for me, I'm in a constant anxious restless state. I feel sick, I can't relax. I don't eat hardly anything. My brain feels fried.
Oh and now I have twitches all over my body..I cannot imagine losing him, yet it is happening.
For some reason every time I drive I end up crying the whole way. (My only alone time) I feel like I am not doing well at all. This disease is taking my husband and my heart along with him.
I don't have the desire to look good, fix my hair, it's even annoying to shower..
Is this even normal? I can't quit or throw in the towel; I am it, the only caregiver.
I helped take care of my mother with alzheimers,and did take total care of my father with vascular dementia. I got tired and annoyed, but never felt this awful.
I guess it just feels better to vent it somewhere.
I am having more issues than he is. He is actually happy now. I suppose because there is an off ramp before he loses his dignity .
He says he naturally is afraid to die, but riding the als bus to the end to him is absolutely terrifying.
Now for me, I'm in a constant anxious restless state. I feel sick, I can't relax. I don't eat hardly anything. My brain feels fried.
Oh and now I have twitches all over my body..I cannot imagine losing him, yet it is happening.
For some reason every time I drive I end up crying the whole way. (My only alone time) I feel like I am not doing well at all. This disease is taking my husband and my heart along with him.
I don't have the desire to look good, fix my hair, it's even annoying to shower..
Is this even normal? I can't quit or throw in the towel; I am it, the only caregiver.
I helped take care of my mother with alzheimers,and did take total care of my father with vascular dementia. I got tired and annoyed, but never felt this awful.
I guess it just feels better to vent it somewhere.