Anthony_P
New member
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2022
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- Learn about ALS
- Diagnosis
- 00/0000
- Country
- US
- State
- AZ
- City
- Queen Creek
I am an absolute nervous wreck. I struggle to get through every single day without feeling like I am living a complete nightmare. I am 27. Male. My mother died from ALS in 2015 after being diagnosed in 2012. She was the strongest person I knew. She was the only person in the family that has ever been known to have had the disease. Her mother (my grandmother) has Parkinsons and is managed her symptoms.
I have been terrified every single day since I saw my mother waste away from this disease. If it took her like that, it should have no problem with me. I feel like my symptoms I am experiencing are indicative of ALS. I am begging, foolishly to have someone give me some hope here and would love nothing more than to be told how wrong I am. My mental state is the worst its been all my life and I should be living my best life. I recently married the love of my life in 2021, just bought a house and when the time is right, want to start planning a family and cannot fathom hearing I may only have a short stretch left. I don't want to die.
I feel as if I have always had something I noticed. Weather it was minimal muscle twitching, or weakness in a particular limb or specific area of the body. Recently, my scare has risen to new heights. My first observation had came after I was done playing a flag football game. I was in my car and realized i had a very sharp pain and weakness in my left wrist (non dominant) to the point to where I couldnt raise or flex left wrist at all. The pain persisted for many days after and about a week or 2 after that, I had been training in Jiu Jitsu and had someone grab hold of my left wrist. When trying to pull away, I felt 3 very painful "pop pop pop" and felt as if i had no stability in the wrist. This was all happening around end of March, 2022.
I had understood I had done something bad when I realized the pain, instability of the wrist, and range of motion being limited for multiple weeks. It looks now as if I have noticeable muscle atrophy in the wrist, hand, and forearm. I experience muscle twitching (my absolute worst nightmare) only on my left arm. Be it bicep/tricep/forearm/muscle at base of thumb where it meets the wrist ('flexor pollicis brevis' for the medical nerds out there). Again, no feelings of twitching or weaknes in my dominant right side, only left. On top of that, I am not able to get the same strength I am used to out of my left bicep/tricep (really the whole arm) as opposed to my right. I am, near effortlessly able to curl 30 lb dumbells with my right, and near impossible to curl the same weight (or even 20 lb kettle bell) with my left.
And only yesterday, I had experienced weakness in my left tricep when even just trying to flex it as tightly as I was able to my right. I tried over head tricep dumbell extensions and had to put so much more focus and energy to getting even one rep in on my left as opposed to my right, which was near effortless again. A combination of unstable wrist, loss in pinch grip, weakness in forearm, weakness in bicep/tricep, muscle twitching, noticeable muscle atrophy when compared to right side, and feeling left arm muscle being more soft as opposed to the more dense right side are putting me through the worst kind of hell I can possibly imagine. I feel as there is no explanation for my symptoms besides being stricken with this evil disease. I do not have even half the strength as my mother did. Please. Please someone tell me I am wrong and that I am out of line. I am begging to be told I am wrong and that this is not indicative of ALS. I cannot begin to focus on my life or enjoy any day without the fear of this disease overwhelming every waking second of my day. I have a neurology appt scheduled for July 11th. I dont know what else to do.
I have been terrified every single day since I saw my mother waste away from this disease. If it took her like that, it should have no problem with me. I feel like my symptoms I am experiencing are indicative of ALS. I am begging, foolishly to have someone give me some hope here and would love nothing more than to be told how wrong I am. My mental state is the worst its been all my life and I should be living my best life. I recently married the love of my life in 2021, just bought a house and when the time is right, want to start planning a family and cannot fathom hearing I may only have a short stretch left. I don't want to die.
I feel as if I have always had something I noticed. Weather it was minimal muscle twitching, or weakness in a particular limb or specific area of the body. Recently, my scare has risen to new heights. My first observation had came after I was done playing a flag football game. I was in my car and realized i had a very sharp pain and weakness in my left wrist (non dominant) to the point to where I couldnt raise or flex left wrist at all. The pain persisted for many days after and about a week or 2 after that, I had been training in Jiu Jitsu and had someone grab hold of my left wrist. When trying to pull away, I felt 3 very painful "pop pop pop" and felt as if i had no stability in the wrist. This was all happening around end of March, 2022.
I had understood I had done something bad when I realized the pain, instability of the wrist, and range of motion being limited for multiple weeks. It looks now as if I have noticeable muscle atrophy in the wrist, hand, and forearm. I experience muscle twitching (my absolute worst nightmare) only on my left arm. Be it bicep/tricep/forearm/muscle at base of thumb where it meets the wrist ('flexor pollicis brevis' for the medical nerds out there). Again, no feelings of twitching or weaknes in my dominant right side, only left. On top of that, I am not able to get the same strength I am used to out of my left bicep/tricep (really the whole arm) as opposed to my right. I am, near effortlessly able to curl 30 lb dumbells with my right, and near impossible to curl the same weight (or even 20 lb kettle bell) with my left.
And only yesterday, I had experienced weakness in my left tricep when even just trying to flex it as tightly as I was able to my right. I tried over head tricep dumbell extensions and had to put so much more focus and energy to getting even one rep in on my left as opposed to my right, which was near effortless again. A combination of unstable wrist, loss in pinch grip, weakness in forearm, weakness in bicep/tricep, muscle twitching, noticeable muscle atrophy when compared to right side, and feeling left arm muscle being more soft as opposed to the more dense right side are putting me through the worst kind of hell I can possibly imagine. I feel as there is no explanation for my symptoms besides being stricken with this evil disease. I do not have even half the strength as my mother did. Please. Please someone tell me I am wrong and that I am out of line. I am begging to be told I am wrong and that this is not indicative of ALS. I cannot begin to focus on my life or enjoy any day without the fear of this disease overwhelming every waking second of my day. I have a neurology appt scheduled for July 11th. I dont know what else to do.