Hi, Suzanne, welcome to the dubious honor of our club, and sorry to hear about your husband. Are you going to an ALS clinic in Philly? It sounds like your husband needs to get a power wheelchair order started, and they can help you get that underway. The Philly/S. Jersey ALSA chapter may be able to provide a loaner, certainly a manual chair, while that order winds through the system. Go to this
link and scroll to Central/Southern Jersey.
Likewise, ask about a loaner Hoyer-type lift for when he can no longer stand, that will help you transfer him between bed, toilet, chairs, etc.
What you say may depend on who's doing the asking, and it is not easy to say at first, but some version of "he has been diagnosed with ALS and will not get better" or "he is not going to be able to walk any more" is the reality. Sometimes if you tell a few people in your circle who get around, they will do a lot of the telling for you. If you are members of any organizations, telling a few well-placed people holds true.
There is no stigma with ALS, as it is no one's fault, but you may find some people gather around you and help, while others drift away. That is who they are, their choice, and there is no controlling it.
It takes time to process this diagnosis, so I would focus on the immediate need of safely getting him around. Even if you have to buy a $100 transport chair from a drug store in the interim, he should not be using a walker (rollator, I hope?) if he cannot do so safely.
We will support you however we can, Suzanne.
Best,
Laurie