Hubby very sick

[whimsy_1971]

Dave has still been running a fever and it is up and down and has been for some time. We woke the other day and he is so congested and full of mucus. He asked for his sisters to come. One lives close the other Tx and she flew in to see him. He hasnt done that before. He told her he didnt have long.

I thought I almost lost him Friday morning, He had been quiet for a little while and we were sleeping. I woke up and he was incoherent with very shallow breathing and mucus coming out of his mouth and nose. I pulled his head back and cleared his mouth and nose and he started coming back too it took a little while. He is so miserable coughing and not getting anything up hardly, his breathng is so labored.

I was so scared to stay with him by myself this weekend. One of his sisters stayed with me, but last night we were alone. He coughed and is so exhausted. He isnt eating much 1/2 can 2 cal and maybe two glasses of water a day.

I guess Im just not ready to give up, but then again i am. I asked Dave today why he keeps fighting, I told him if its because of me dont. The reason I asked him that was because I was told sometimes you have to tell them it's ok to go. So I did. I just feel so freaken helpless. Just to set here and watch him go through this and wonder is this it, is it my fault, did I do something wrong. OMG I hate this! I just want to scream at God right now I have prayed and prayed for Dave to have peace and he just keeps struggleing.

 

[CindyM]

Christy. I wish I could be with you. Please don't blame yourself, or anybody, for that matter. Nothing you did or said determined this outcome. Bad things really do happen to good people, and Dave is brave and accepting.

I know he appreciates your courageous and loving care.
Hugs, Cindy

 

[BethU]

Christy, I am so very sorry that you and Dave have to go through this agony. Giving him permission to stop struggling was a very kind and loving thing to do. I hope you'll have companionship in the days ahead, to help you get through this.

I'm praying that your husband finds peace soon.

Be kind to yourself. You are doing a magnificent job.

 

[JACKIEMAX]

Christy,


I, Too Am Going Thru This Exact Same Thing. Horace Has Had Als For Almost
3 Years Now. Is Bedfast, Has To Be Fed, Etc. And Is On A Bipap 24/7. He, Too,
Coughs Until He Is Worn Out, And Very Very Seldom Can Get Any Phlegm
To Come Out. It Exhausts Him.

I, Too, Have Told Him It's Ok To Go - He Is A Christian, And We Know He
Will Be With His Lord Forever And At Peace. He Says He's Ready, It's Up
To The Lord To Send For Him.

There Are Days When I Think He Will Die Before The Day Is Over, And I,
Too, Am Here Alone With Him.

I Know Exactly What You Are Enduring Right Now, As Do Many Others Here,
And We All Care.

Jackiemax

 

[Debbie53]

Christy,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It isn't fair, it's horrible, and there's just no way around it. But people DO care, even people you haven't met.

Debbie

 

[brooksea]

Christy,

I'm so very sorry that you are having to face this alone with your husband Dave. I know the anguish we keep inside about this disease seems to fester in each of us. And we ask ourselves WHY GOD?

You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[califsand]

Christy,

I'm sorry He's trying to say his goodbyes and that must be incredibly difficult for all of you. It doesn't help you to question why... there is NO answer that will satisfy you or ease the pain. Please know that our hearts are with you. I don't have words that can help but am sending you a hug because I know how you feel right now and I'm sorry

Sandy

 

[crystalkk]

Christy,

I am so sorry, please don't blame yourself. It is nothing you did to cause this. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffer. I will get you and Dave in my prayers.

 

[whimsy_1971]

thank you all

I want to thank you all for your support.

Im sorry that it seems like my every entry I make here seems to be a complaint. You guys are all I have that understands every moment that I have and struggle.

Daves seems to be going back and forth from one day to another. Today still cough, cough, cough, and fever, but not so lathergic. I know the time will come I just hate the confusion.

thank you again.

 

[sharonca]

Christy - do you have a cough assist machine to help him with that? I have heard it really helps get the mucus out.
Know that you have friends here praying for you.

Sharonca

 

[CindyM]

You are not complaining, Christy. This is an extremely difficult time for both you and Dave. Hopefully he is a little more comfortable today.

 

[givenin]

Ah Christy I am so sorry you both have to go through this no one should. I was terrified when my sister-in-law left what was to be my husbands last day, I knew things had progressed quickly and we both were worried about him. The stress that comes with this caring is beyond beleif. You have told him it is okay to go, you make him as comfortable as you can, you are there for him, that's huge.

Type away as much as you need it does help and we are listening and here for you I just wish we could take some of load the off for you.

Take care
Cheryl

 

[whimsy_1971]

Sharon,

no we never got to that point. He kind of i guess skipped alot of things. We went from getting a feeding tube to being put on hospice after released from the hospital. I guess I could ask them to see if he could get one.

I give it a try what will it hurt.

Was told today that Daves lungs sound better than friday. So thats a good thing or maybe not, I dont know anymore.

Last night he woke up in a panic. He was terrifed. I asked him if he had a bad dream and he said he didnt know, I asked if he had problems breathing and he didnt know that either. He then said to me dont hurt me and I said why would you think I was going to hurt you and he replied that I had a knife in my hand. I showed him both hands and told him I would never hurt him. We kept the light on after that he was so scared. He actually thought I had a knife and was going to hurt him. It took about an hour but I got him calmed down. Told nurse about it today and she said it was probably due to the morphine increase and that his body needed to adjust.

scared me though.

 

[freddiesnetty]

Christy,
I am so sorry that you are going through this..........I feel so bad for you and please know that you are doing the best that you can.......I hope this situation subsides some for now......
Hugs,
netty

 

[Jeannie]

Christy,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. There are no words I have but please know that II am thinking of you.
In Friendship
Jeannie