How to prepare

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KatieNBoyd

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I have re read many of the posts on what to do when our PALS pass on. I have all the paper work done, we have Hospice in place and the social worker has helped a lot. Or family has talked about his wishes and dying at home, accounts and titles transferred into my name and such

I have the regular people that will have to be called and informed and such. My question is "others". I realize that the obituary is an announcement but did any of you do or send anything from your PALS email or FB accounts? Is there some sort of protocol in that area these days?

Thank you
 

starente15

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Hi Katie. My family did everything you've described. I knew my father had a Facebook account and email. When he passed, I checked the email and saw that he had been in correspondence with his old Navy buddies for many years. He had stopped replying to their messages three months before he passed. He never told them he was sick.

I contacted those people via email to let them know as they had remained friends for 50 years. He wasn't very active on Facebook and was friends mostly with family members so I left that alone.

If your PALS is letting their wishes be known, it would be worth asking how they'd like it handled. My dad didn't discuss any of this with us so I just did what I thought was best.
 

lgelb

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Hi, Katie,

As he knew I would, I posted to the moderator of a couple of lists he was active on, posted the memorial service as an "event" on Facebook so his friends could see, and of course changed my own "status." Word got around, mostly. Later I posted the slide show we showed at the service to FB as well as his friends are far-flung. They still post remembrances randomly or on key dates, on his feed or mine.

Best,
Laurie
 
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affected

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I posted on Chris's fb for a while, and one of his friends and I even kept an orchid competition going in his memory for well over a year. If Chris had been in email contact with people I would have let them know, but he had never been much of a technology person at all.

His kids, particularly in the second year after he passed, would at times post wedding photos of him and his first wife (she died 8 years before him), or just start posting and making comments about them having a wonderful time in heaven being back together and all. I deleted his fb account as it became very difficult to see at times.

Really the protocol is to try and have the person state what they want. If they don't state this, then you just kind of have to do what you feel is best.
 

Atsugi

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I prepared three obituaries for the local paper, for all the people in the address books, and for people who were close to us.

I think the social media accounts are kind of important. I have seen other people's Facebook pages receive and even send messages years after the person had passed. Confused me. So I think that one should do something with the social media sites.

However, beware. There are companies that regularly scour the net looking for dead people, to get money from the estate.
 

affected

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However, beware. There are companies that regularly scour the net looking for dead people, to get money from the estate.
Dang, maybe I should have left his up and let some company take his share of the mortgage debt .... ;)
 

KatieNBoyd

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Thank you all very much.
Christine, Laurie Tillie and Mike, You have all been here to walk me through this day and night I truly appreciate it.

Jon is still able to shuffle a little but is not able to respond to much. His last few attempts at an email to his brothers was illegible. He barely responds to yes/no questions. So I will do as you all suggest and play it as it goes. I have seen on FB accounts of friends that have passed and it disturbs me so I will probably close his account eventually.

He is not eating nor drinking. His drooling sops his shirt as he moves the towel I place on him. He continually picks off the Scopa patch behind his ear even if we put something over it. When he doesn't want to walk he sits on his walker and I push him to the bathroom or bedroom.

hugs to you all!
Katie
 
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