How to move forward?

[bittersweet1]

I never thought I would find myself posting in this forum, but here I am. My mother recently passed in July 2013 from ALS. After a 10 month fight, she decided to stop her feedings as she had lost all ability to move and speak. We knew that this moment would be coming as she was only holding out this long to meet her first grandbaby. I do not think "knowing" that eventually this will happen makes it any easier.

For 10 months, I went straight to my mom's house after work to take over her care as my brother gave up his job to stay with her during the day so my stepfather could continue to work. Now we are all lost. How do we move forward? I do not remember a life before taking care of my mom. She was my best friend. At 29 years old, I need my mother more than ever.

Some days I feel like it might be getting easier, but then I have these moments that I realize what has really taken place and my heart just feels like it gets broken into a million pieces all over again. This disease does not end once it takes the person who was diagnosed; it lives on through the caregivers and family.

Thank you for letting me vent my sadness that eventually turns into anger and back to sadness.

 

[vickim]

I can only imagine that it is one minute, one hour and one day at a time. She will never be completely gone. She will live on in you and your brother and your children and your childrens children. You will remember all the good things about her and carry them in your heart and pass that down. No one is ever truly gone so long as there is love and from what I read there was a lot of that.

I am so sorry for your loss and I am sending prayers of comfort and strength for you and your family.

 

[WellsRuby]

You were a wonderful daughter and you were there for your mom. You will look back and treasure those moments and hold them tenderly in your heart. Sending you prayers and comfort.

 

[bemindful]

bittersweet1,

I know how you feel. While my mom has only been gone for six days I am wondering........"What am I to do now?"

 

[bowser]

Sympathy to all .

Although we all know the ALS diagnose is a death sentence, it is very hard when the due date on that death sentence arrives.

I dread that day, also.

 

[bittersweet1]

It has been just over two months now since my mom passed and I am still searching for the answer to the question of what to do now. The world keeps moving forward but my life has stopped. Some days you want to curl up and hide from everything but other days you find strength to do things that used to make you happy before ALS hit your family. I try not to plan days too far ahead and just take them as they come. Cry when you need to and scream if you have to.

 

[designdiva]

Very sorry Bittersweet, we just lost my step dad to ALS a week and a half ago and I am feeling lost as well. My mother passed suddenly a few years ago and my world shattered and I hated everything and everyone most days for a long time, I am much more at peace with my stepdad passing but it still hurts. All I can say is that you eventually realize that your life has to go on and that your mom would want that for you, it gets easier over time to accept it. I personally tend to throw myself into doing something to stay busy and keep my mind off of things for awhile but right now I feel like I have been sucked into a black hole and cannot hardly muster the energy to even keep up with a regular daily routine, I think grief just strikes differently in different situations. Remember your brother and your stepdad are there and need you as well, maybe go to lunch or a movie or something with them when you can to keep those relationships going as everyone tries to find their new places and how things fit together in her absence. Take peace in knowing that you were there for your mom when she needed you the most.