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ccox

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My mom (diagnosed, June '07) refuses to answer questions or emails about where her heart and mind are concerning this disease. She's very depressed (I would be too!), but has started antidepressants. I feel like she's just waiting to die because she feels guilty about burdening her husband. The thing is, I think she's pretty far from dying, but refuses to "live". She could do so much more living with him and enjoy every minute. She gets very tired using the walker but refuses to use the power chair because it has a hair trigger and she's afraid of it. Won't even practice using it.
I'm feeling very frustrated. I want to support her, but honestly don't know what sort of support she needs. Does she want me to come sit with her? Does she want me to take her places? She won't answer even those simple questions. I think if she weren't such a devout Catholic, that she'd have killed herself by now. She feels that guilty about "getting sick"----like she brought it on herself. Now is not the time to protect us from the truth. We, her children, are all grown (42-51 yrs). Can you, the PALS, enlighten me. Why won't she tell us what her plans are? We've all said we support her, no matter what her plans.
Thanks for letting me vent,
Carla
 

brooksea

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It's only been 3 months, your Mom is still in shock!

This disease is so totally different to know that you have it since there is really no treatment...well what does one do?

Give her a little time. You are doing the right thing and keep persisting, she will come around. Just go and get her and take her somewhere. Perhaps a different setting will help her open up.

She probably has so many thoughts rushing thru her mind she can't think straight. Little things you do will count a lot in helping her remain positive.
 

CindyM

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Hi Carla- I agree with CJ. The only thing you can do is be there and be ready to listen when she is ready to talk. In my family we are all ready to discuss things to death except for one beloved member who keeps things to herself like you'd keep a state secret. LOL. It takes practice to listen for just the tinyest opening and then it takes even more practice not to jump in too far so she doesn't clam up again. It took me the longest time to learn that when she comes over just to sit and watch TV, on some level we are still, apparently, providing support.

Just be available and be there, is my experience. Hope this works for you. Cindy
 
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