How long?

[cassboyette74]

My PALS is on Hospice and has had a devastating turn for the worse. He has lost the ability to walk or even sit up on his own. He can’t suck anything through a straw and aspirates when he does get something. We’re giving him suction and cough assist when that happens. He has a bi-pap and oxygen. But, without food and water, we’re literally watching him starve. For his sake, I’m wondering how long will this last?

 

[Nikki J]

I am so sorry at most 14 days but likely considerably less as he is debilitated. Sometimes just a few days. I hope he is being offered medication to ease this and accepting it.

many of us have been there. We are holding your hand virtually

 

[affected]

I'm so sorry - does he have an advanced directive that helps you know his wishes now that he is at this point?
If they are giving him lots of palliative meds it is kinder to stop all food and fluids. I hope you can find a place of peace in this and have some support and as you help keep him comfortable. With good palliative support this can be a very peaceful ending.
For my husband, who was quite debilitated it was very fast once we stopped food and fluids (3 days) and very peaceful.

 

[lgelb]

I am very sorry, Cass. Sometimes you need to make it clear to hospice that you both are more interested in comfort measures (morphine) than time left. You will also want to make sure he knows that you are at peace and comfort is all that you want for him.

If/as he is fully medicated and comfortable, stopping BiPAP if/when both of you are ready is also an option.

Best,
Laurie