How life changes

[gooseberry]

Trying to be good to myself...hired a lawn service, getting a massage regularly, groceries are delivered....yet I am tired. Still bone deep tired. Everyone says ...My you look so tired!!! Yet I feel good...better than I have in a long time.

My brain fog is beginning to lift, we are enjoying life again. Julien and I talk about Steve all the time....remembering things we did as a family.

So, 2 days ago I was asked to help Steves mom shower. She fell and crushed he shoulder. I couldnt do it. Tonight, I mustered up the courage and went. Wow!!!! It was really hard.

 

[KatieNBoyd]

Hi Goose, Good to hear from you. I am glad you feel better and are doing those things for yourself. I am not a big fan of people that tell me how tired I look...I feel for you there. I am glad you and Julien are doing well. Don't tire yourself again you have done a huge job already.
Take care
Katie

 

[texastc]

Glad for you Goose!!

tc

 

[scaredwifetx]

it is great to hear from you Steph. I am glad you are adjusting and being good to yourself. Don't worry about what others say. What matters is how you feel. Get some rest. Hugs!

 

[Neilswife]

It sounds like you are doing a good job of being good to yourself. I think this is the hardest thing for those of us who have been caregivers to do -- be good to ourselves. Like others have said, don't worry about what anyone else thinks -- you are doing what is right for you. I am right there with you on feeling tired, I think it takes a long time to stop feeling tired. It sounds like you are doing well though and that is encouraging for the rest of us going through the same thing.

 

[tripete]

"So, 2 days ago I was asked to help Steves mom shower. She fell and crushed he shoulder. I couldnt do it. Tonight, I mustered up the courage and went. Wow!!!! It was really hard."

I admire you and the courage it took for you to be involved in this while still trying to recover from your own journey with Steve. You have also continued to care for us on the forum who have valued and needed your help.

PLEASE do not forget that you need time, and that if you cant help that its OK. You have been incredible; and if you need "me time" to heal, reflect, strengthen and grow thnt no one can fault you for saying "I am sorry but I cannot help".

The most important thing that I am sure Steve would want for you and Julian is that you "Be Happy".

 

[Nuts]

Steph, I don't know that I'll every be able to be a caregiver for anyone else after this.

Continue to be kind to yourself. It takes what it takes.

Big hugs,
Becky

 

[affected]

Good to hear from you Steph, and I'm glad you are looking after yourself.
Don't sweat feeling tired, just keep doing what makes you feel good.

I agree, if you find it to hard to do any caring role just now, don't feel bad. It doesn't mean you couldn't help someone later, it is just how things are for you now and you have the right to recover. Good on you for going anyway, but don't let yourself feel this has to become something regular.

I'm so glad you and Julien can talk a lot about Steve, that's so healthy

 

[Jhill]

So glad you are finding peace.

I can't imagine doing caregiving again
so soon. Just physically and emotionally couldn't right now.

Hugs to you,
Joan

 

[gooseberry]

Thank you for all the encouragement. It is really hard to put yourself first.

Steves mom is headed to surgery Tuesday morning. I have committed to Monday nights shower but let my BIL know I cant do it after that. She really needs to be close to one of her kids or in assisted living. She doesnt want either but is unable to care for herself.

 

[gooseberry]

The surgery was cancelled and the BIL have taken over. They both tell me how hard it is after only a couple days . I just smile.

 

[affected]

I'm so glad BIL has taken over and you have set some boundaries.

We all 'get' that it's not that you don't empathise, and don't want to help someone in need. But you and Julien are the top priority just now and you have got that in perspective.

Good for you!

 

[gooseberry]

Had an interesting experience on Veterans Day. I got my haircut and many vets were there since they were giving away free haircuts to all vets. The shop was packed. A man came in with a screaming kid who has autism. Kids with autism get really freaked out when they get haircuts. The man is yelling at the boy, the boy is sobbing and lashing out.....I walked over and offered to help. I spoke with Emerson, talked quietly to him, and held his hands like a friend while he got his cut.

So many people just need understanding. I hope all of us who have seen als get that understanding.