How are you? The Remix.

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Jrzy it is tough after trying to figure out who you are now and what you want to be. I think in many ways I’m still looking, so you are not alone.
hugs as you work through this for yourself.
 
Yesterday was inexplicably the worst day I've had in a long time. I simply cried all afternoon into the evening. The crushing emptiness took over again.

I'm waking up in a not-so-good place again today, but I'm going to try to shake it off and move forward. Time for a nice hot shower, then a cup of coffee.

Hugs to everyone today. ❤
 
J - this is really normal. I always found the unexpected plunges down the worst, because of how they would just hit.
I used this to really help myself through:
1. I learned to say - today is going to suck, I don't have to do anything that isn't critical.
2. After losing my love to ALS I realise there is very little that is critical - drop everything and let the sucky days happen. Only do what I can do comfortably and if that is nothing, then that is how it is. (Amazingly the world did not stop spinning no matter how many days I just took off to let the grief suck!)
3. Remind myself that there was some unknown, but definitely finite number of really sucky days I was going to experience. This means that today makes one less I have ahead of me, so getting through it however I need to means it's done.

Sometimes when those bad days came they would last for several days, even a week.

As those first few years went on they length of time they went on grew less, and the intensity of the wave hitting grew less.

What I did find, is that sometimes I then would suddenly feel ok again, and realise I was feeling a bit better than I had before the crap wave hit again. I think somehow the really bad sucky times work some healing on a deep level.

However this rolls for you, I'm hearing your pain.
 
Thank you, Tillie. With all that you have going on "down under", just the fact that you took the time to respond warms my heart. ❤

I did kind of just zone-out and let the grief roll yesterday. It just surprised me because it came out of nowhere. And it was so intense.

Today was a little better. Some bumps, but they were more manageable.

I know I'm still anxious about trying to figure out my path forward, but hoping I can remind myself to take a deep breath and let things unfold in time. It's just hard to put all the pieces back together when such a big one will be forever missing.
 
Just keep moving, Jersey. You will find the road.

Best,
Laurie
 
It's hard to describe just how intense those waves are, and when unexpected they really are a surprise. Glad today was a little better - back upwards we go.
 
I subscribe to a page called "All Devotion" where there is a daily "Message from God". I know He listens, because this was today's message, "Today, God wants you to know that sometimes you need to be still. Chasing the things you want can make them move further away from you. Relax, and let events unfold in their own time instead. "

Wow.
 
Jrzy that message was definitely right on time! I agree with everything Tillie said. I still get hit now and again and it’s hard. However, we will all find our way forward in our time. There is no timeline, just like ALS timeline is different for everyone. Don’t try to rush it.

Big hugs!
 
Stacy here. It will be 3 months since my husband passed. His dog went over the rainbow bridge 3 weeks before him. Need to sell the big house but needs a little work. I will luve in our little 99 sq ft adobe. Having a hard time coping as crap keeps happening: had to sleep in tbe car 2 of the travel nights. My little dog got attacked pretty savagely, and has had surgery. One more surgery needed. Then last night my cat got attacked. Cried most of evening. Don't know how much more I can take.
I know the saying...don't look back. You're not going that way, but feel like I've got a foot at the old house and a foot in the adobe. Bad things just keep happening...
 
Sorry about the troubles, Stacy. This is all so hard. Hope you are able to rebound soon. Hugs. ❤
 
Oh boy!

Just when I'm getting a break from the emotional roller coaster, my physical body decides it's gonna have it's own pity party. Both my hip and my knee have been achy, but I'm hoping it's just stiffness. Woke up on Sunday with a nasty cold that doesn't want to let go. Now for the best part. I went for my skin check and asked the PA to check a mole I saw. Biopsy said melanoma, but they thought it was small enough to just cut out, so they did that on Monday. Nope - now I have to go in for a second excision and a lymph node biopsy. So tomorrow, it's a blood test and EKG for pre-op clearance, then nuclear medicine so they can inject a dye to better see the cells (3 different locations, to boot) . Surgery on Friday. The surgery requires general anesthesia, so luckily, one of my friends has a flexible schedule and can take me. Ugh.

I wonder if my body is reacting to stress from the last several years. Has anyone else had anything like this happen? Fingers crossed that they can cut the rest out and it has not spread to the lymph node. Say a prayer for me if you're so inclined!
 
Oh so sorry Jrzygrl - this is incredibly common - it's like a PTSD of the body and so many of us go through some health issues as tho the body finally realises you don't need to be superperson for a PALS anymore, so it just falls down.

I hope this surgery is simply and they get a good clear margin and the lymph nodes show up as fine.
Crossing everything for you - please let us know! 💗 💗 💗
 
Thinking all good thoughts, Jersey!

Best,
Laurie
 
Jrzy, I'm sorry to hear this. I will definitely pray for you.

Sharon
 
May all the good vibes around head your way
 
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