- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 1,530
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 06/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- MN
- City
- Minneapolis
Then lose it in the car!
My mom is in a nursing home I need to get her transferred to another ( not urgent, another story I just dislike the place muchly). Brian is progressing because ALS moves just one way as we know. Next up is more homecare hours, next up is the simple reality that this ride is getting harder and harder as we knew it would.
So, Friday night I hit the liquor store and the grocery, I am driving along and start crying and yelp out something like the following by myself in my car;
“Why?! Why?! There better be a reason for this. I could have lost anything else, anyone else. You expect to lose your mom, you expect to lose your dog. You don’t expect to lose your husband, God not like this, why like this?! Why not ten more years? Why?!”
Then, I was quiet, made it the other few blocks home. Walked back in the house, put booze and groceries away, let the tears dry on my face. Having successfully lost it for a bit and compaired Mom loss to dog loss ( yea I know) and asked a question for which there is no answer I was ready to get back to the work that my home is now.
Today I called my own living room “over there”. Odd, but true. Earlier in the week I said I had no words. I found a few. So it goes.
My mom is in a nursing home I need to get her transferred to another ( not urgent, another story I just dislike the place muchly). Brian is progressing because ALS moves just one way as we know. Next up is more homecare hours, next up is the simple reality that this ride is getting harder and harder as we knew it would.
So, Friday night I hit the liquor store and the grocery, I am driving along and start crying and yelp out something like the following by myself in my car;
“Why?! Why?! There better be a reason for this. I could have lost anything else, anyone else. You expect to lose your mom, you expect to lose your dog. You don’t expect to lose your husband, God not like this, why like this?! Why not ten more years? Why?!”
Then, I was quiet, made it the other few blocks home. Walked back in the house, put booze and groceries away, let the tears dry on my face. Having successfully lost it for a bit and compaired Mom loss to dog loss ( yea I know) and asked a question for which there is no answer I was ready to get back to the work that my home is now.
Today I called my own living room “over there”. Odd, but true. Earlier in the week I said I had no words. I found a few. So it goes.