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Carol Deboer

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May 7, 2003
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Hi Everyone!

I know that I have not been here lately, but I was without a computer for a couple of months. I went through withdrawals really bad, let me tell you. ha. However, I also needed a much needed rest and time for me. I needed to regroup and think of myself and my family and needed to let the als thing go for awhile. I got through the holidays okay, I think that I dreaded the different more than the days themselves. It was certainly strange not having Henry with us, but I know that he was here in spirit and looking down on us and smiling. I also know that he wants us to get on with our lives, and that is what we are all trying to focus on right now. I thank God everyday for having a good support system and the strength to get through everyday. I will not say it is easy, but, it is getting better. How is everyone doing? I feel so bad for not being around to share the banter and chats and all of the good input that we have here. I promise that I will catch up and stick around for awhile. It was difficult not to read all the posts that have happened and I have not welcomed all of the new people that have joined us, but, I thought of you all each and everyday. I just needed a rest from all of it. I was having a really bad time coping, and got some much needed counselling to help myself deal with everything that happened to us. I thought that I could get through it all myself, however I was wrong. It was a hard thing to admit that I needed some outside help, but it was just what the doctor ordered, literally. Anyway, I am doing much better now, I have my computer back, and I am willing to test the outside waters again. I hope you will all forgive me. I did not leave, I just needed a rest. My love and prayers still all go out to you all each and everyday, and I missed you all terribly. Anyway, I am going to take my own advice for a change. STAY STRONG !

Love to you all,

Carol
 
All of us here that knew you and Henry knew you would be back. Sometimes it takes a while to work out our feelings. We have lost some more members but gained quite a few more. I wonder if that is a good thing. Not good for them to be here but good that they have found us. Nice to have you back Carol. Take care.
Al.
 
Hi Carol,

I came in to forum in May as a cals for my husband. I have read all of your post and I have learned so much from you. I have not doubt you will continue to encourage me and many others with your experience. I feel as though you are my next door neighbor. :D Thanks for being around.

Terri
 
Al... is this the same Carol who was coming to Toronto to visit us in October?

Hi Carol... I know how you feel about regrouping. It took me two years to get up the courage to even start posting here and think that I might even have something worthwhile to impart to snybody else. Now I have the courage... and I'm too old to care about the rest of it! Welcome back... heard from Fisher lately?

CHeers

T.
 
Hi Carol
Thanks for coming back. I missed your wisdom and your humour, but am so thankful that you took the time needed for yourself.
I pray that you will continue to heal, and have the comfort of many family and friends.
Love and prayers, Leah
 
Carol - it is so good to hear from you. I think it's good you took time for yourself. You need to look out for yourself first. It's also good you sought outside help. Sometimes we really do need that outside perspective....it doesn't mean we're weak or lack faith. God put others in our lives (even doctors and counselors) for a reason. Sometimes we just need that short term readjustment in how we see things. Other times we need it long term. Everyone is different.

Well, I gotta go for work. Melissa
 
It might be Tbear but I haven't seen any red bikini's so I'm not sure.
 
Thanks Guys for your kind words, it has been a long road, and it is nowhere from being finished yet. Each day is better and I now laugh more freely and cry less. All a part of the healing. I missed all of you and will make sure that I will pop up regularly to keep in touch and to keep you all in line! I still do not have my Outlook up and running yet, so I cannot get private messages yet.Will let everyone know when this happens. Anyway, I am off to work too. Have a marvelous day all...


Stay Strong..... Carol
 
It was so funny Al, that when I visited Fisher in the summertime, he wanted to know where my red bikini was! I actually had on a bikini top and shorts, but I think he was disappointed that it was not the red one! Anyway, I have packed it into my suitcase as I am leaving for the Carribean on March 3, for a 10 day cruise! I am so excited. I thought that I would take my boys for a little boat tour since they have never been anywhere exotic. I am so pumped for this. I am not going to anything at all except lie in the sun, drink 151% proof rum, and sleep and eat all the fruit I can get my hands on. I will be coming to see you too Al, I just have to go on this trip first and come back home and get back into routine. I have not forgot about you, I think of you and Lee almost everyday. I just have had a really really hard time coping and learning to live without Henry. It took the bounce out of my step for quite a long time. My Mom said when you start to sing and dance around the house again, I know that you will have started to heal. Well, there has been some singing and dancing here (all tequila induced, but what the heck) and I am starting to see that I have a lot of life to live. Soooooooo...... with that said, I am off to see Bon Jovi this weekend in Toronto with some friends and my boys. I am sure we will have a good time. Tight schedule but it will be a nice weekend I am sure. Have a Nice Day :D

Love and hugs to you,
Carol
 
Hi Carol, I thought I had posted to welcome you back into the loop, but it isn't here.
It takes courage for everyone to handle this disease, or any for that matter. It also takes courage to admit when you need some help coping with the stresses, strains, and loss.
Enjoy that cruise with your boys and relax. You deserve it.
If you hook up with Al and Lee, let us know, maybe we can share you.
 
Oh neat I get to share 3 women. One of the other things on my list gets done. Looking forward to that one. Don't wait too long ladies, my stamina is not what it once was. LOL
Al.
 
Hi Guys,

We just rolled in from Toronto after seeing Bon Jovi last night. What a concert! They were awesome. It was good to relax and have a few beverages and dance the night away. But man am I sore today. My legs feel like I have jogged for 100 miles. I probably did, ha...Al, you just wish that you could have all of us at once! And remember, it is your mind that gives you the stamina! ha. Well, I am off to bed, I am tired and I have to go back to work tommorrow. So much for the foot loose and fancy free...

Have a good night. Carol
 
Hi everyone new and old members,
I too have had a major transition in my life and time was a factor in getting back onto the computer and comunicating with all the people who were like family for me. I did not forget this forum or all the awesome people who share there lifes. Tim is still living on his own but I will be looking after him on certain graveyard shifts when I 'm not not working my other job as a caregiver. As far as my personal life goes the marriage is over and I have finally moved to a small suite. Talk about downsizing from a house to a one bedroom suite. Its amazing how much you accumulate but I've been throwing out old memories and giving a lot to good will.I have tried to keep up with the postings but there are so many new people and so many things happening its been a little over whelming. Its nice to see that Theresa and Al have kept things going by greeting all the new members. Carol I'm glad you were able to get some help and start enjoying new endeavors. I would loved to have seen Bon Jovi and travelling should be a truly new adventure. I have also been going through a depression but I'm hopeful my new life will decrease the feelings of being alone again. This forum is a excellent support system for all and I hope I will be able to be of some assistance for people going through this cruel disease. When I think about it my problems are nothng compared to what Pals and Cals go through. So thats my update and I will continue to be hopefully a support person for anyone who would like to listen. I never did see the bracelet, I guess they must have their own here is Saskatchewan. Happy New year to everyone and maybe this will be the year we will get some results and encouraging news.
Kim
ALS About Loving Someone
 
Hi Kim. Good to have you back. Sorry about all the transition in your life but it could be new beginnings will change your course for the better. We held down the fort but there are a lot of new members to get acquainted with. Jump in. Al.
 
Kim - good to hear the update from you. In case you didn't find my catch up note, I've been gone for a bit too. It must have been quiet around here with Carol absent! I am glad to see you have been able to help with Tim more. I'm sure it is not easy emotionally but I know you have wanted to be there more for him so from that point I am glad. Hopefully that will help keep you busy and focused on something. You are allowed to be depressed at times no matter what your circumstances. However you feel abot them is how you feel about them. Besides, dealing with a lost marriage is saddening no matter what the reasons.

Carol - glad you had fun at the concert and too bad about having to go back to work! It is good to hear from you again.

Al - I don't even know what to say!

Theresa - sounds like you've had a lot going on. And, good for you for staying with this group, the more educated people are the better.

Welcome to all the new people.

As for me and my hubby, he's back on another round of tests. We were going through the primary doctor this time and after a normal EMG and CT and bloodwork they referred him to another neurologist, who we saw today. This guy seemed pretty good and is with a nuerology institute in Farmington Hills.....hey, maybe someone on this sight mentioned it before and that is why it sounded familiar to me. Anyway, this guy is doing more bloodwork and really taking him seriously. He also raised an eyebrow about the EMG and said he's had several patients where he found different results and he doesn't really trust the first doctor doing the EMG.

Long and short of it is, there might be another EMG but he's doing the bloodwork first to decide the next steps. He seems much more competent than the first guy last year.

-me-
 
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