Help my sister

[Nation]

I don't really know what I am looking for here for sure. I just want to find out how to help my sister. Her Husband has had ALS for 4yrs now and she is his primary care giver. The only help she gets is from her two daughters. Recently the stress seems to be becoming too much for her to handle. She is a Cancer survivor of 10yrs with a trach. Because of the health care system and lack of money - she cannot seem to get any help. ALS is not only killing her husband but her whole family. She hasn't been out of the house more than 6 times this past year and it is taking its toll.
I live out of state and I am looking for some answers to help find a way to not sacrifice herself. I think she is now pushing her daughters away so they can have some sort of a life other than care-giving. She is stubborn and takes the phone off the hook and won't let anyone in and says she can handle it. BUT even she knows she can't - but she doesn't want others to give up their whole lives like she is doing now. I am scared that she is going to get sick again too. Monday (7/10/06) is their 35th anniversary. They met in Junior high school and have been with each other ever since...
Some of my thoughts:

She is scared of losing him
She is ready to let go
She is holding him up
She is losing the ground below
She is happy to care for him
She is feeling such woe
She is sad, torn, frail
She is my sister

 

[ekoozmin]

I am so sorry to hear this about your sister and her husband. She sounds very depressed. Sounds like it is time to take action--maybe your sister doesn't know how to ask for the type of help she needs.

Where does she live? Do they have an ALS Association local chapter or MDA office nearby? Call them and explain the situation, especially the part about inurance and no money. Perhaps they can advise you. Maybe they have a social worker who will pay a call to your sister and try to gently make her see how much stress she is under. Do they attend a house of worship--maybe a clergy person could look in on them; or maybe there's an auxiliary group whose members visit the sick and disabled and check up on them. Look into something called Share the Care if paid care isn't possible. Please let us know how things are going! Hang in there!

Liz

 

[Nation]

thanks

Thank you.
I will follow up on all that you said and will let you know the results
Again - Thanks