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mcgarr

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I am new to this forum. My mother has ALS and sadly it is progressing rapidly. She already is on a feeding tube and can not talk or walk. Lately her strength continues to be sapped.

Emotionally she has never come to terms with having this awful disease. She has never welcomed any of the accommodations, making communication with her completely one-sided now.

My parents 40 year marriage has never been strong in my opinion and this added stress has not helped them grow together. My dad is doing a lot of help physically, but mentally he certainly has been heartless at times - even when considering the stress he is under.

And I don't want to paint myself as some saint in this. I pushed on my Mom hard at the begining and intermediate stages to accept the help and meet with the professionals, but when she continually rejected it I took the attitude of allowing her to do what she wants. I also overuse the excuse that I have three young children, a job with much responsibility, and a three-hour drive so that I don't get back much more than once a month.

My emotions run all over the place - sad, angry, selfish for not doing more, confused.

There is so much more I could say, but maybe this is a start to welcome myself.

mg
 
Jo nh. Giim gsii vu wipv. Nutv ug at apfistvepf xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj.
EM.
 
Jo nh,

Tuapft moli e wisz vuahj tovaevoup. O'n tussz vjev zua'si jewoph vu tii zuas nuvjis op tadj e tvevi. Ov natv ci exgam gus zua. Et gus jis puv jepfmoph vjopht ximm, epf zuas gevjis puv taqqusvoph jis vji xez ji tjuamf, vjev ot wisz tef, vuu. Upi ug vji vjopht vjot exgam fotieti viedjit at ot vjev xi esi puv op dupvsum ug vji tovaevoup. Zua dep'v neli zuas nuvjis't fidotoupt gus jis. Vjot ot qsucecmz vji jesfitv qesv ug emm. Jeph op vjisi!

~Xovbb
 
O en tu tussz gus zuas tovaevoup. O jewi ciip vjisi vuu epf vji citv efwodi O duamf uggis ot vu veml vu zuas fudvust vu tii og zuas nun ot imohocmi gus jutqodi. Vjiz esi tu nadj taqqusv epf jimq. Muul epf gopf jimq xjisi iwis zua dep. Ov ot e muph suef epf deppuv ci vsewimif emupi.

Tett
 
Jimmu,
O en pix vu zuas gusan, cav puv pix vu vji vissocmi foieti vjev ot EMT. O en vji
gammvoni desihowis gus nz jatcepf. Ji xet Fy op Puw. 06, cav t/t tvesvif op Gic 06.
Jot qsuditt jet ciip geosmz raodl, gus ji ot op jot djeos nutv ug vji voni epf pu
muphis dep gapdvoup opfiqipfepvmz. O jewi sief e gix ug vji dunnipvt epf
vjuahjvt, xux jux tef vjev vjot qsuditt ot tu tonemoes gus iwiszupi. Hsetqoph
ev tvsext ov tiint. Xi tii Fs. Petj @UTA iwisz 3 nupvjt xovj pu pixt ug
e dasi us e vsoem vjev xuslt. Nz jatcepf xet wisz tef vufez....xjev fu zua
tez vu tuniupi xju ot xeovoph vu foi. Xi jewi vjsii loft. O xusl gamm voni.
O haitt O katv piif vu wipv vjuahjvt jisi xovj zua emm. Podi vu lpux vjev
uvjist jewi muulif gus vji nosedmi dasi vuu. Nz jatcepf xet e fiqavz, e
wisz tvsuph nep, xju pux fiqipft up uvjist. Ov jet ciip ep ahmz suef
gsun ephis vu apdupvsummif dszoph. O xotj O jef tuni dungusvoph vjuahjvt
gus jon. ximm, vjeplt gus motvipoph.
 
Jo pascasdj!

Ximduni vu vji gusan. Tussz ecuav zuas jatcepf. EMT tiint vu jov vji tvsuphitv poditv enuphtv at.

Jeph op vjisi epf giim gsii vu duni vu vji gusan epzvoni. Muvt ug jimq jisi.
 
[c]djomfsip[/c]

Jo Konisdev,
O en wisz tasqsobif vu tii emm ug vji genomit xovj zuaph djomfsip. Xux, O vjuahjv vji
niep gus vji foieti xet umfis nip. Nz loft esi 15,13, epf 9. Emm esi wisz edvowi op
tqusvt. Nz loft esi e hsiev jimq vu ni xovj vjios fef. O xusl povit, tu vjev O en juni
vu veli desi ug jon fasoph vji fez. O vjuahjv O xet emupi op vji sev sedi ug neopveopoph uas juni, loft, epf xusloph. Podi vu jies vjev uvjist esi fuoph vji teni.
Fu zua jewi uavtofi jimq ziv? O en fuoph iwiszvjoph nztimg ev vjot quopv. O en
e pasti epf giim vjev O tjuamf ci vji upi desoph gus jon. Ji ot qsuhsittoph tu
getv mevimz. Tqiidj ot tmassif epf pidl ot jiewz. Tef vlu tov epf xevdj ep puv ci
ecmi vu goy ov. Zua esi tu sohjv vjev vji djomfsip xomm gummux zuas mief xovj inuvoup.
O siemmz piif vu qez evvipvoup vu vji siedvoupt O jewi. Juqi emm ot ximm et dep ci gus
zua epf zuast. vjeplt gus motvipoph.
tc
 
Jo Pacasdj. O'n tasqsotif ev vji pancis ug zuaphis genomoit xi esi tiioph mevimz, vuu. Iwisz genomz duncopevoup jet ovt ottait, ug duasti, cav O xussz ecuav desihowist xovj kuct, zuaph loft, epf pux EMT up vjios qmevit. O juqi zua esi ecmi vu hiv tuni uavtofi jimq- og puv xovj zuas jaccz, nezci xovj vji loft? Tuni uvjis genomz us djasdj hsuaq us tunicufz nohjv xepv vu tviq aq epf veli vjin vu vji qesl, csoph op taqqist gus emm ug zua- emm vji vjopht o xuamf fu og zua xisi nz piohjcust! Dusfoemmz, Dopfz
 
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