Heartbroken

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ARCG

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 12, 2016
Messages
210
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
1/2015
Country
US
State
TX
City
Houston
Haven’t been here in a long time. In the second year of our loss and still overcome with grief. Taking it one day at a time but feel like I am just going through the motions most of the time. I have read your threads and they are helpful, thank you. One of you wrote that the person you most need to talk with about this is gone. That is so true, I find that I am not lonely, per se, but lonely for him specifically. I miss my partner, my best friend. I advised my children to still ‘speak’ with him when they are missing him and want his advice. I think that helps as we all know what he would say. I am trying that as well. What a blessing it was to have such a profound love and how painful it is now that he is gone. Nothing I do fills the hole in my heart. My children need me so I will keep trying.
 

Narrowminded

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,758
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
City
Pittsburgh
It will get better. I found the second year to be the worst. I also saw a therapist for a good while about 2 years and that was huge. I moved this past sept, just before three years and that was a blessing. It may not be possible for you, just wanted to mention. That doesn’t mean that I don’t cry sometimes, esp with my grandchildren. Brian wanted them so badly and never got the chance to meet them. They were born during year 2 and 3. Sending huge hugs.
 

lgelb

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Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
12,287
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
WA
City
Seattle
I'm in year eight, so all I can say is, the sadness ends up in moments rather than hours or days, and most of the memories are good for our son and me. I do think of what Larry would say or do at times, sometimes because our son asks me directly, but sometimes just because. I am pretty sure that will remain true for both of us.
 

ARCG

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 12, 2016
Messages
210
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
1/2015
Country
US
State
TX
City
Houston
Thank you for your responses. I continue to see a therapist as well. Many folks have told me the second year can be the worst. I try to remember the good times and even when he was ill we shared good times and laughter. It’s comforting to think it will get better, thank you again.
 

wishmobbing

Senior member
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
Messages
869
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2017
Country
DE
State
BW
City
Stuttgart
"Lonely for him", that's perfectly put and that's probably the core feeling persisting in "moments rather than hours", no matter how good things are otherwise. And in one of these moments I thought to check in on you girls. It's good to see this wonderful community is still there.
It will get better and you won't need to forget him for it to get better.
 
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