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Kim C

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2013
Messages
82
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2013
Country
US
State
KY
City
Nicholasville
My mom's ALS is progressing very fast. I'll spare all the details, but one arm gone, other arm 99% gone. She can barely shuffle across the floor and only with my dad or I providing total support. Can't feed or toilet herself. Her speech is going quickly as well.

Today it seems as if I am having a terribly tough time. It is so very painful to see her this way. She is 80 and wants to die, as she has so little functioning body parts left.

I know things will get so very much worse before the end comes, and my heart is breaking for her.

My faith ebbs & flows. I know God did not send this on her. I know God doesn't answer every prayer. I know God will give us strength to get through this, but at the same time I cry out to God, asking "where are you".

Mom is so very miserable with her life. Despite my begging, she won't go anywhere.

I guess it's different when you're 80, and have lived your life. She has nothing to fight for, and I understand that.

Just needed to vent a little. Any words of support appreciated.

Thank You
 
I will add you and your family to my prayer list. Sending you a virtual hug. Kim
 
You are doing all that you can. You are a good and loving daughter. I am sending cyber {{{hugs}}} to you and prayers for strength and comfort to your family.
 
My prayers go out to you and your mother, so sorry, I am still new at this awful disease but I know God is with us and he did not bring this on, I pray that your mother finds a way to cope and that you find peace, God Bless.
 
I am so very sorry. We are just a little further in progression. It is agony to watch. Thoughts and prayers to you and yours
Nikki
 
Kim,

I believe prayers are heard and answered. But not always with the answer we think we should receive. So often, we don't discern the blessings sent our way.

My heart goes out to you and your Mom.
 
Hi Kim,
It makes me so sad to read your post. My mom doesn't want to go out in public either. I finally got her to come to my house yesterday for a couple of hours (I only live 5 min away), but she just feels absolutely useless because she cannot speak. I try to remain as positive as I can, but like you I am very sad for my mom. Every morning when I get to her place I pray that maybe she has passed in the nite, and I won't be faced with making heart-wrenching decisions in the future. She is merely just existing at this point, and I also know that things will get much worse. I wish you strength. Take care, Trina
 
Trina,

I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. My mom was a very active lady. Walked three times a day, could outwork me by a country mile. To see her like this is heart-wrenching, as I'm sure it is for you & your mom as well.

Thanks everyone for your support.
 
Here is a poem Tim wrote 3 years ago, long before ALS was on the radar, and he feels it is true today. I hope that it helps somehow, and you will be in our prayers.
Paulette

Our thoughts are often fragile things,
No less our hopes and dreams;
When darkness whispers, creeps and clings,
When life's not what it seems...

We must recall and bear in mind...
(Despite that all the Night proclaims,
The clouds that mask and blind...)
That He Who knows and calls our names

Has promised oft and proven true:
His ways are best our steps to guide,
Though all of Hell our hearts pursue
And all our longings crushed beside...

His wings still shield, His arms preserve,
A bulwark righteous, sure and strong:
His Love confounds without reserve
His mercies new, and suffer long...

Why then with grief and sharp despair
Betimes we question, oft we doubt?
His grace and ceaseless constant care
Will lift us up our lives throughout.

He promised. Shall He not be true?
Shall all His Word be lost to lies?
Or shall we trust Him, through and through,
Bask in His Love...the One All-Wise?

Timothy
5 Dec 2010
 
that is beautiful
 
Kim,

My heart aches with you this night. One thing I learned taking care of my SO and then my mom, a gift perhaps,...
In the middle of that pain for those we love... is in fact, love.
Love is God's gift and a part of God.
So God is in the center of all life and all that lives.
It is in that centering that I ask and know God will reach across the miles to put a hand on a should or hold a hand. That you, your mom and dad will find a comfort beyond reason. To lighten and brighten tomorrow. That you may feel and know you are not alone.

Namaste
 
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