I am the sole caregiver for my husband, who has been trached and on Trilogy ventilator since the end of December. He prefers that I do all his care, and it has been doable. We have no other obligations, so I am not torn by thinking I should be somewhere else. We do have one married son locally with 2 little kids and a full time job. He has also taken over managing some apartment rentals we have. He and his wife are more than willing to learn the necessary care, but so far Gary is resistant to that idea. Our wonderful daughter in law does shopping, banking, and whatever other errands we might need.
HOWEVER, I do know that this routine is not sustainable, and sooner or later I will need to get out! I have been looking for some paid help, but don't want to go through an agency because they are so restricted on what a pca can do. I still wouldn't be able to leave the house. Until we do find the right person to come by a couple of afternoons a week, we live a quiet, uncomplicated life, with visits from the grandkids the highlight of our days. My ultimate goal is to keep Gary out of the hospital. A month of being in three different facilities was so much harder than being at home with me as the only caregiver!
Good luck, Graybeard. It does get better. Are you taking anything for anxiety? That could be the source of your high blood pressure; learning to trust that a machine is going to sustain your life takes a bit of getting used to. Gary was the most laid back, non anxious person I have ever known until getting put on the ventilator. A little clonazepam really made it easier for him to relax.