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frankb

Senior member
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
530
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
Georgia
The Retired Doctor

An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: ‘'Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"

Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.


ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!

P.S. Written in large print for all Geezers.
 

Clearwater AL

Very helpful member
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,512
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
12/2016
Country
US
State
NC
A Neurologist agreed to see a patient suffering from severe health anxiety again. The patient had 3 or 4 EMGs and numerous tests previously but just convinced he had ALS.

After 20 minutes of rambling symptoms that were all over the place the Neuro tried to explain the relationship of his symptoms to anxiety but the Neuro kept getting interrupted with another symptom he remembered.

Finally the Neurologists held up his hand and said,

"I have a diagnosis... listen".

"Your brain has a serious disorder, it's divided into two parts, left and right, like everyone's but with yours... in the left nothing is right and in the right nothing is left."

The answer went right over the patients head and he asked...

"Is this related to ALS?
 
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