My mom was finally diagnosed last week after the doctors just accepted her insistence that she had Parkinson's. When the fasciculations sp? started, I got a bit firm and her Neurologist sent her for an EMG. The Neurologist and then an ALS expert diagnosed her. But the worst part is she has FTD and damage to her corpus collosum. Reading your words is a Godsend, because I just thought my mother hated me. She has a lack of empathy, which is painful - but I now "get" it.
My mom also went through a strange, sexual obsession thing...including walking around the house naked. What is troubling is she is also brilliant, and uses that brilliance in bad ways. Example: She asked my daughter to buy her some medical marijuana (ugh). My daughter has a "Card" and I do not support it at all, but she is an adult....and my Mom's primary, caregiver. When my daughter said no, my mom called the police and said my daughter threatened her with bodily harm (my mom was a trial lawyer - forced to resign when her speech and gait became bad). Right before she called the police, she called the cell phone company and disconnected my daughter's cell. She did this, so my daughter could not call me - and I would not come across the street and interfere with an arrest! My daughter's girlfriend texted me that the police were across the street and I went to see what happened. My mom started screaming for me to get the F out of her house (we were laughing over dinner the night before) - then she said, "I'm making sure you can never practice law in this town again B". I explained to the officer that she was ill and they left.
Mom's behavior and paranoia deteriorated and she ended up in the hospital. When she arrived, she changed her story to say my daughter beat her up (instead of threatened her). I kept the texts and recordings proving Mom was angry at not getting marijuana. Her stories at the hospital resulted in an adult protective investigation being opened FOR MY DAUGHTER.
What a mess. This is not my mom. My mom loves us, and she adores her one and only granddaughter. My mom is now on an anti-psychotic medication and a mood stabilizer. Her lack of empathy, rage and occasional crying and suicidal ideation continues. The FTD and emotional aspects are DEVASTATING. My mom called my new husband and told him I am a gold digger, etc.. She then called my office and said things...I am a trial lawyer and work for the Government. I do not know what she said, but after she was stabilized on meds she told me that she called my office, she felt bad and like she shouldn't go to church, that the things she said were untrue (she has never told me WHAT she said) and that she called to tell them she was psychotic and is now on meds.
The problem is that I have a horrible employer, and am afraid of the damage she has done - I can say this, as the lack of morale and investigation of us attorney's at tax payer expense are matters of public interest. My mom called my cell and left me a message saying I have a sexually transmitted disease, that this disease seeped into my daughter's brain and caused her dyslexia. None of this is true...but she was screaming and furious.
She told my daughter she will never call the police again, because she does not want to talk to psychiatrists in a hospital.....but never said I am sorry. My mom was afraid what she said could get me fired, and we would find out she called my job...but she never said sorry. The list of this type of behavior goes on and on. My question is, how do you all cope with the meanness and lack of empathy? I saved all recorded messages, in case they are needed....but how do you protect yourself from any harm?
I love my Mom. Now that I know about FTD....I see her actions as part of her illness. I am her only daughter and I was raised with love...so this is so out of character. Her behavior predated her physical symptoms and slurred speech. I agree with other posters regarding what comes first ALS wth FTD...or FTD with ALS. The pain of watching a loved one wither away is soooo compounded when they are acting and speaking like someone you do not recognize, and that someone can be cruel, paranoid...even vulgar.
My mother is so physically beautiful...so known in our profession as being regal, and a queen. As much as I hate to watch this dreaded disease attacking her body, I cry about watching the disease take her poise, her compassion, her empathy. No one, except the people on this site, realize the rollercoaster the emotional and psych symptoms create. How often we have to remind ourselves this is not Mom, it is organic brain disease. Any advice is so appreciated.... I am so happy I found this forum.
