Forum Follies-- Bushrangers "Down Under"

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peter57

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DX UMND/PLS
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AUS
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Millicent
(based loosely, very loosely in the times of reign of Ned Kelly, as seen in the film.)

The day is dawning high up in the high country. Out of the gloom and through the wispy mist that is hanging around you can just see, through the Sugar Gums a small timber and bark hut with a column of black smoke drifting lazily up from the chimney.

The home of the Neddy gang.

Inside, around the table sit some of the members of the gang, waiting for breakfast.

There is Glen, who thinks he is tough but is really quiet fragile,
Zaphoon, who is always dreaming up ways to make a quick quid.
Big Al, the silent one but you can count on when the going gets tough and
Rose, quiet petite but deadly with knives.

(it was a deceivingly large, small bark hut).


Cooking their breakfast of Kangaroo tail stew and damper was Keeker the bird lady (just call me Colleen), and Rosella.

What a motley bunch, their leader was missing, he was away scouting the next job and others who hadnt made it back from the last job.

As Colleen was undulating over with the meal, the door swung open suddenly and in fell Neddy, bleeding like a stuck pig.

That Canadian Trouper, Corporal Barry, the son of a B***h, plugged me about 5 miles from Gundagai.
All i did was stop and check out the animal on the track and he up and shot me in the arm.
 
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A corker of a start Peter!
Here's a ling to an Australian slang dictionary so we can all sound fair dinkum.

Australian slang dictionary
 
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Meanwhile, Corporal Barry, who is a foreign exchange officer working on his Master's degree in footy, is now back in his office in Wagga Wagga conferring with his sidekick Skippy, the only marsupial to make it into the K9 division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

"That Ned Kelly, aka Peter 57, has got kangaroos loose in the top paddock" comments Corporal Barry "I shot him and would have had him in the divvy van too if he hadn't been helped by the Bush Tucker Man"

Just then the radio crackles to life (I am stretching the time line here but what the hell) with the report of a missing pet wombat. "I bet that is lunch for Ned and his gang, I've heard that Colleen and Rosella, that Scottish and Italian duo make a mean dog's eye. Let's head over that way" urges Skippy as he heads over to the weapons rack to get his boxing gloves.

With that they both bound away...
 
Meanwhile, back at the small timber and bark hut, Zaphoon was grinning like a shot fox as he was eatin some muddy and mystery bag and happy for it! He had just gotten over a touch of the wog but was well on his way to being off his face with his 3rd tin of Cooper's.

About that time was a knock on the door, and there she was, that thing of beauty, the jackaroo's daughter from down the road looking for a naughty.

Zaphoon thought the jackaroo was a bit of a yabbo anyway, so why not?

But then, there was Ned that needed tendin to.
 
whats next. i need something to read.
 
She had had an exhausting ride from Jackalass. She came into the little/big hut earbashing, sounding as cross as a frog in a sock. "Don't look at me like I came for a naughty! Keep at yer Cooper's. As far as Ned is concerned I hope he's hit the pi$$ so I can help him."

Ned is swaying and hugging his arm to his side. She (?) turns and says "I need an offsider to hold his arm for this!" She turns to Ned with a smile, "No worries love."
 
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Rose, come over here and bring one of your pig stickers with you and dig this slug out of my arm.

Rosella, fetch us a long neck of Coopers will ya i am as dry as a dead dingo's donger.

ah thats better Ned said, Coopers is much better than that XXXX stuff we flogged from the pub last week.

Now Zaph. knock off passing the jackaroo's dauther and let her go home otherwise the boss will come here and find the jumbucks we "liberated" from the long paddock last week and bring that Sarg. Barry back with his crew and that low down informer Skippy.

When Rose has patched my arm up i will let you know the next job.
 
Sergeant Barry (yippee I've been promoted) and Corporal Skippy (and he has too) are on the bumpy road to Bongongalong in the official police Feral when they are forced off the road by what seems to be a pack of rabid Tasmanian Devils.

Little do they know that the mad marsupials belong to and are controlled by Mad Max who brought them over from Tasmania in an effort to save the species.

Dragging Barry and Skippy out of the wrecked ute Max says to Barry "You think your'e pretty figlam don't you? Well let me tell you I think you're a fruit loop but Ned wants you so that is good enough for me"

With the devils snarling behind them they headed off into the bush toward the gang's hut hideaway.
 
Rose stands up , slips on a thong and walks over to Ned.

Pulling a filet knife from her garment , she cuts away Ned's shirt around the wound.

Ned , always admiring Rose's figure , reaches with his good hand to grab one of Rose's soft spots, but halts when he feels a doodle itch.

Rose , deftly has another knife , tickling Ned where he itches. "What should I dig out first?" she asks Ned.

"Just the bullet Sheila". Before Ned can take a breath , Rose , with the skill of a surgeon pops the bullet out on the tip of knife. "Throw some turps on that"
 
Fair suck of the sav! This thing is going off!
 
Meanwhile Colleen who is over by the fire is standing out like a shag on a rock and decides to have a rollie and gets out the durry.

Hello what have we here she remarks to no one in particular as she gets out side, why its a strange looking mutt. I wonder where that has come from?

Thats the animal i saw on the track from Gundagai it must have followed me home, just what type of mutt is it?

Give it some of the roo stew it looks hungry and come inside we have to plan the next job.

Back inside the bushrangers assemble waiting Neds plan.
We are going to hit the bank at Willigobung.
They have plenty of Moolah as gold has just been discovered at Batlow.

Al pipes up why dont we just get the gold then?

You really are a drongo replied Zaphoon, untangling from the cluches of Brooksea for a moment, every one knows gold is heavy and paper money is light so we can carry more.

Quiet down now you two (wondering why Brooksea is still there) we need to work out how many people we need and who we have.
 
The strange dog is even stranger because he is wearing a police uniform complete with handcuffs. As he is chowing down on the roo stew he is keeping a close eye on Ned because although no one knows it, this strange mutt is another graduate of Rosella's correspondence police dog school. Rosella is trying to make some extra moolah on the side because this gang is not the full quid.

Chico aka "the mutt" is after Corporal/Sergeant Barry's job and he knows that he will get it if he brings in Ned singlehandedly or in his case singlemouthedly.

But Chico knows that there is no rush so after finishing up his vittles he heads over to the corner to curl up and have a conference with the old fella.

Meanwhile the planning for the bank job proceeds...
 
Right said Ned we need 10 people for the job and some special gear for us.

What i did before i was shot was visit a guy i knew in Califat who now works as a blacksmith.

He has a gambling habit and is always after a quick quid.
(Zaph mumbles in the back, arnt we all, arnt we all mate)

What he has come up with is a helmet and body pads to protect us from bullets.
All he wants for them is 50 quid a set.
I put a deposit down for ten sets and will pay the rest when we rob the bank.
I have a Box Browny snap of the gear for you.
He then said a strange thing, he would throw in a set of steak knives, doesnt he know we only have Jumbucks not cattle.

Ok guys lets get ready we need to pick up the gear on the way.

Meanwhile Chico is heading for the door, thinking he needs some help to bring these down if they get this gear.
 

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Chico stops in his tracks and wags his tail. You could almost swear the mutt was smiling that figjam smile.

"Awww , who opened their lunch ?" claims Ned and his eyes start to water.

Everyone else is choking and groaning and heading for the door. Once outside Zaph does the liquid laugh .

Glen , rubbing his watery eyes pipes up "We should feed Chico more roo stew and put him in the bank. Then we just wait for the place to empty."
 
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