GlenBrittle
Very helpful member
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2008
- Messages
- 1,540
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 10/2008
- Country
- CA
- State
- Ontario
- City
- Alexandria
Can you Break the Wind ?
Do you have to clench to prevent embarrassment ?
Are you constantly blaming your pets ?
Do your giggles make people run ?
Do friends and loved ones chase you with a lighter ?
Do you have to sleep apart from your loved ones ?
If you said YES to any of these questions, or you are already giggling , then you need help !
FARTERS ANONYMOUS
We teach you how to avoid embarrassing scenes.
We teach you to have manners, warning innocent bystanders.
Its easier if you make a game out of it.
These sessions are for both the gaseous and their targets.
Gaseous Sessions:
Learn that its proper go to a washroom to "Break the Wind"
Learn how to pantomime the comedians. Waving your hands behind you , yell "DO NOT GO IN THERE"
Learn that animals have to close to that methane cloud, and animals always do SBD's. If you announce, you own it.
Learn how to determine if you are offensive.
- friends show up with gas masks.
- comments like "Im not going if that person goes" and "DUDE YOU REAK"
- the food court at the mall empties
Revenge Sessions:
Sometimes, you need to teach those methane monsters a lesson
Learn how to embarrass them in public
- learn how to hug while stuffing toilet paper under the waistband
- learn the foods that will help you fight back
- learn how drop and dash - so that your target takes the blame
- learn how to drop one in an office just before a meeting
- change a persons email sound to a fart at work - and send emails
Learn self defense
- dutch oven tactics
- when the violater is sleeping with a mouth open - drop one at minimum proximity
Testimonials from graduates
- THIS SHIT WORKS
- Thanks to FA my husband is so courteous after I made him puke
Call for Sessions today 1-800-NOFARTS
Do you have to clench to prevent embarrassment ?
Are you constantly blaming your pets ?
Do your giggles make people run ?
Do friends and loved ones chase you with a lighter ?
Do you have to sleep apart from your loved ones ?
If you said YES to any of these questions, or you are already giggling , then you need help !
FARTERS ANONYMOUS
We teach you how to avoid embarrassing scenes.
We teach you to have manners, warning innocent bystanders.
Its easier if you make a game out of it.
These sessions are for both the gaseous and their targets.
Gaseous Sessions:
Learn that its proper go to a washroom to "Break the Wind"
Learn how to pantomime the comedians. Waving your hands behind you , yell "DO NOT GO IN THERE"
Learn that animals have to close to that methane cloud, and animals always do SBD's. If you announce, you own it.
Learn how to determine if you are offensive.
- friends show up with gas masks.
- comments like "Im not going if that person goes" and "DUDE YOU REAK"
- the food court at the mall empties
Revenge Sessions:
Sometimes, you need to teach those methane monsters a lesson
Learn how to embarrass them in public
- learn how to hug while stuffing toilet paper under the waistband
- learn the foods that will help you fight back
- learn how drop and dash - so that your target takes the blame
- learn how to drop one in an office just before a meeting
- change a persons email sound to a fart at work - and send emails
Learn self defense
- dutch oven tactics
- when the violater is sleeping with a mouth open - drop one at minimum proximity
Testimonials from graduates
- THIS SHIT WORKS
- Thanks to FA my husband is so courteous after I made him puke
Call for Sessions today 1-800-NOFARTS