Forum Follies Break the Wind

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In Atlanta a ball was being held as a money making scheme for the suffering Confederate army. There was desperate need for artillery, and the soldiers also needed clothing and footwear... a factory or two wouldn't hurt, but there was the coastal gunrunning still bringing in munitions... and, boy howdy, am I out of my league, so I'll just get me to the ball.

Starlett may have worn black. She did in the movie, but having had her power shopping with the credit card, it's possible she wore puce. Now, Puce literally means "flea" but is actually a "half mourning color" of bownish purple, and ugly as spit. I only say it's possible... And it doesn't matter what Melly wore because she had her Paisley visiting, and enough said about clothes.

Anyway, the ball. Frett was there and seeing Starlett swinging her hips along with the fiddle, he asked her to dance. She turned up her nose and said "No, indeed, I will not." However, there was a dance sale with bidding on the belles, and Frett paid 150 dollars in gold to dance with Mrs. Starlett Hooligan, and of course, as the only gun runner present, he won her by about 145 dollars.

Later in the evening a basket was passed around for gold jewelry or other valuables to be donated to the wahh effot. Mel looked at her wedding ring and said sadly, 'It will do no good for Paisley on mah fingah, but may help him if I give it to you'ins", and put it in the basket. Starlett yanked her own ring off and said, "You can have mine, too." Frett, who had given up his money clip to the cause just gave her a look of scorn.

And, yes... Poor Melly was indeed with child, so Sue was in the clear, saving her a lot of "splainin". The little dear was growing, and while the middle of a war wasn't the best time, Melly was glad she'd have her beloved Paisley's child.
 
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Quick question - where is Prissy? If 'we're' about to have a baby, we need Prissy......
 
Prissy will come along soon... she has to "lie" first about her knowledge of birthin. She did get hauled off to 'Lanta with Starlett's hats.... Now Miss Linda, don't you worry yourself none. Maybe one of the men folk will help us out and introduce Prissy again. In between cannon talk.
 
Little did anyone know that Prissy was not the silly slave girl that she appeared to be. It was all an act, she was really a Northern spy! And not only that she was the north Georgia representative for the underground railroad, the secret group that helped group that helped escaped slaves flee to the north and to Canada (had to get the Canadian connection in somehow).

She volunteered to go work at Twitcha when she heard that the one armed gardener, Wilton was trying to get away from the O'Plentys and start his own hemp farm. Everyone could see how a liberal use of hemp could reduce the South's will to continue fighting and the Yankee army was very interested in having a good supply of "happy smoke". They planned on loading the special grass into incendiary cannon shells and launch them at Atlanta so that not only would the city go up in flames but nobody would care. As the city was under siege the munchie supply was severely limited and it would be a total bummer, man.

Prissy was very annoyed at having to go to Atlanta with Starlett and Melly but decided that her mission had changed. She would now focus on assessing on where the special cannon balls should fall to have the greatest effect. When she was told that she would have to leave ahead of the advancing Yankee army she volunteered to stay with Starlett and Melly Ann when it was decided that it was too dangerous to move Melancholy Ann. "Ahs done lotsa birthin babies" she told Doctor Mean.

"Good girl!, now you see Starlett, you have nothing to worry about" Starlett wasn't so sure.....
 
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BarryG;129292 They planned on loading the special grass into incendiary cannon shells and launch them at Atlanta so that not only would the city go up in flames but nobody would care. As the city was under siege the munchie supply was severely limited and it would be a total bummer said:
LMAO ! and who is Dr Mean?
 
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As the war raged on and the city burned Starlett was assisting in the hospital. This was surely against her wishes (blood clashed with puce) and against the better judgment of Dr. Mean (the old doctor from Clayton County and only one that was not too stoned to operate because he didn't inhale) but they needed all of the hands that they could get.

Starlett looked around the train station that was being used as a hospital and said to herself "What am I doing here, I don't belong among all of these dead men! They can't even flirt with me, why, I batted my eyes at a good looking young soldier and he died! I am so outta here!"

Just then the doctor called out "Starlett, come here! I need to amputate this soldier's leg and we have no anesthetic so when I remove the bandages from his eyes I want you to bare your bosom and maybe he will pass out from shock"

"He will probably think he died and went to heaven" she said to herself as she ran out of the building and headed back to Aunt Pittypat's house so that Melly could console her...
 
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Paisley made it to Atlanta to find that most of the town had evacuated and the girls safe and in good hands.

He then sourced the horses he needed and departed back south to the waiting army.

Charlie had built up his arms business in the last few weeks, now confident that no one knew who he was.

He built up an impressive list of dubious men working for him, including.
Harry Longabaugh
Jim Miller
Nathaniel Reed
Henry Starr
Emmitt Dalton

He also appointed a secretary to run his books by the name of Laura Bullion.
She kept a real good eye on the money side of things.

With Paisley doing the negotiations with the army things were sweet. Soon though they would have to wind up this trade as the captains of the boats were asking more and more as the Yankee blockade grew.
Charlie started to think of what he could do next.

Frett returned to Twitcher only to find Wilton had left, along with the house boy. He was all alone.

After loading up 2 packhorses with the guns and bourbon, he too left.

Twitcher was deserted.
 
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(I'm just wondering why Barry had Starlett run back to Auntie's house before she flashed the soldier boy? )

....Meanwhile, Prissy had gotten herself in way over her head! Spying was one thing, but delivering a baby?
 
Starlett only used her assets for her own gains and saw no point in baring herself to a man who was only going to pass out. He wouldn't give her anything for it or want to marry her (well maybe he would but that is beside the point). And she wasn't Florence Nightingale or Mother Theresa, she was Starlett O'Plenty. She was self-centered and damn proud of it.

On to the birthin!

Starlett, with her dress still securely fastened, got back to Aunt Kittykat's house to find Prissy in a state and Melly Anne moaning. "What we gonna do Miss Starlett? Miss Melly, she gonna have a baby! What we gonna do?"

"Well of course she is going to have a baby, you silly girl" snapped Starlett. "But ah means now" cried Prissy. "Well you had better fetch Doctor Meany quickly" instructed Starlett as she chased Prissy out of the house.

At that Starlett sighed and headed up the stairs to the moaning Melancholy Ann. "Melly, you are really starting to live up to your name" she muttered under her breath. Meanwhile Prissy was on a mission. She had been rebuffed by the doctor who told her that he couldn't come, he had arms and legs to lop off and no boobs to help.

So Prissy decided that spying was much more interesting and important than birthing so she went looking for "happy bombs".
 
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Barry, Very dramatic, glad you did that 8)

And Peter, good job keeping the flow going...

Now, for the next part of our story.

Prissy was not sure who she could trust. She'd heard there was a Confederate Army Major who had leanings toward Union sympathies. He was simply known as PZ...
 
Frett Studler knew that like Starlett, he was shallow and egocentric. Still, as he rode away from Twitcha he reviewed what had happened and decided that he had had enough of the civil war that was tearing apart the place that he had come to know and love. The dispute was tearing apart his friends and he didn't know what to do about it. Already the beautiful mare that he had stolen from Charles Hooligan had run off for a two week vacation at the beach with her stallion so he was forced to ride one of the pack horses and ditch the bourbon.

"To hell with it" he thought to himself "I am going to take a holiday too". He had come to realize that he couldn't please everyone and was sick of taking sides especially after he had tripped over his own toes getting out of bed that morning and had a large "edge of the bookcase" shaped bump on his forehead to show for it. He was headed off to a cabin in the woods for a few days to relax and review his priorities.
 
Melly made a decision. She had no help coming and a baby on the way. She could do this for Paisley. So she delivered her own baby, got out of bed, changed the sheets, put on a new nightgown and noticed fire outside the window. After thinking about it for a couple of dumbstruck moments, she pulled a dress and shoes on, and a shawl. picked up Beau Boy and hustled down the stairs. Saying "I'm a Southern Woman, hear me Roar" she gave a rebel yell, and climbed onto the next wagon heading down the street. Atlanta days were over. Melly and Beau were going to the countryside and maybe even to the mountains. She hated war.
 
While Paisley rode through the darkness, he found himself contemplating the life he had chosen. As he did so, he began to hum a little tune to himself. That night, after he'd bedded the horses down, he sat by candlelight and with a pen and parchment paper, wrote a song just for his Mel. It took him most of the night, because he wanted to get it right. When he was finished, he found himself wondering where to put it for safekeeping... Atlanta was a ghost town, he did not even know where Mel was for certain. He knew he had let her down, and would most likely continue to. Finally, he addressed it to his solicitor, Edgar Burkhart in Savanna, instructing him to put in a safe place until the war had ended.

Unfortunately, Edgar was killed by a stray bullet, and the letter containing Mel's song was misplaced. Several generations later, it was discovered, and the law firm for whom Edgar had been partner in, contacted the only traceable living kin to Paisley.

As it turned out, this distant cousin was in fact a professional musician, and he recorded the song, making a pant load of money with it. He did not keep the original title (Melancholy Baby, If You Could Read My Mind) as it was quite lengthy by modern standards. So, the song was shortened to just If You Could Read My Mind.... and with a few other minor updates, here it is...

If You Could Read My Mind
Gordon Lightfoot

If you could read my mind love,
what a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie
about a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet.
You know that ghost is me
and I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can see.


If I could read your mind love,
what a tale your thoughts could tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
the kind the drugstore sells.
When you reach the part where the heartaches
come the hero would be me.
Heroes often fail.
And you won't read that book again
because the endings just to hard to take.


I walk away like a movie star
who gets burned in a three way script.
Enter number two, a movie queen
to play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me,
but for now love lets be real.


I never thought I could act this way
and I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong
but the feelings gone and I just can't get it back.

If you could read my mind love,
what a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet the story always ends.
And if you read between the lines
you'll know that I'm just trying to understand
the feeling that you left.

I never thought I could feel this way
and I got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong
but the feelings gone
and I just can't get it back.
 
((OK...I have to tell you that is one of my most ALL time favorites! I used to listen to it on the farm in LA (lower Alabama) at my MeMe's house off the dinky radio as I was cleaning her kitchen after the HUGE dinner at NOON! Double U Oh EL EF WOLF Radio!))

Freaky, Rose!

And now back to the story...
 
It was a favorite song of mine. I had no idea that Paisley wrote it. Great lyics, Rose!
 
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