For real....

[Clearwater AL]

For real.. A doctor claims the COVID 19 virus can also be spread by passing gas.... farting.
And.... most of all if one is not wearing pants. His words. Even with pants on he claims
the particles are in the air.

Fart particles?

Must be what you smell.... it's a good thing they make noise so you have time to grab a
mask.

It was said the reason farts smell is so that deaf people know somebody cut one.

So, if the person walking in front of you is over 6' tall not wearing pants and you are only
5'2''.... promptly turn and walk the other way.

If a person is wearing pants and you're close enough to hear it... tighten your mask
and hold your breath, double your social distance. Or if in a room..... hope it's big enough.

But.... the dog will probably get blamed for this too!

PS. Did you know farts are flammable? When I was in the service at special training after
"lights out" this guy on his bunk would say, "Hey" "Hey" and he'd put a lighter to his butt.
One time one didn't evacuate with sufficient velocity.... he didn't do that again.

 

[frankb]

just off the email circuit - old but still funny. must be southern to understand a couple! Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied . "You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!" Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" B ubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.." Louisiana A Louisiana State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-10. Walking up to the driver's window, the trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" ...