Final stages

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tiabye

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Hi everyone. My sister is in her last days. Hospice started last Friday. She is now off her bipap. Her pulse today is 47. Did anyone have signs on how much longer we have with her? It's so frustrating that I can't seem to do anything for her anymore. Any advice would be great! Thank you.
 

lgelb

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Why is she off her BiPAP? That generally provides comfort up to the end, unless she no longer wishes it. Does she want to continue her life?

Is she in distress? I take it her pulse is lower than it has been. That could signify that her circulation is waning, but it is hard to specify a time period.

Nutrition, breathing and her own will to live are the major determinants to the answer to your question. If she really needs the BiPAP and is not using it, my guess would be a matter of days or weeks.

Not sure why you say you can't do anything for her any more -- your presence is the greatest gift you can provide. Just be there for her, with her favorite music, people, pictures on the wall, whatever will help her, and if you are both clear that this is one-way travel, try to convey that you/the rest of the family are at peace and she can fly free with no regrets.

Best,
Laurie
 

Narrowminded

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Hugs Tia - wishing you peace and comfort as you travel this road.

Hugs
 

Atsugi

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I agree. Just be there. Whatever makes her comfortable. Do what she says.

Could be weeks--or hours. The pulse and respiration rate will adjust as the body can support.


Intake might go to zero, so keep lips and tongue moist with a sponge or swab.



Lots of touching, hugs as tolerated.


When my Krissy was in her last days, she was in a hospital bed in the middle of our TV room where everyone normally gathered, so she was always a part of our family and could see everyone all the time. Behind her, out of eyesight, we kept all the emergency equipment, meds, tubes, and 20 bottles of oxygen I don't think we used.


I rolled a little bed next to her, and put it up on wood boxes so that the little bed (mine) was level with hers. This way, we were in each other's view and could touch easily.


She slept nearly all the time, and once or twice had enough energy to sit up and manage a kind of conversation with blinking.


Although she refused all tubes, feeding, trach and everything, she did agree to a catheter so we wouldn't have to clean her up or lift her out for toileting. The catheter emptied into a bag under the bed. Urine turned dark and cloudy, almost chunky, as her organs shut down over a couple days, I think.


She had ordered, in writing months earlier, that if she had air hunger and needed oxygen, we were to give her morphine instead. So although she wasn't getting much air, she was so relaxed she didn't care. No pain, no panic, no fear.



At one point, our nurse said "soon" so we gathered all the family together bedside. We held her hands as her breathing and heartbeat faded to zero. There were some tears, some nice words, and I called the funeral home to come pick her up.


I hope that helps.
 

skipper66

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My dad didn't use a bi-pap . He all the sudden got a sore throat and just went rapidly downhill and then lost his speech which he had always keep. He was admitted to the hospital for like a day and they pretty much said it was time after he was there for 2 days. So, Hospice was called in an we moved him to my sister's home and got Hospice involved. He started gasping for air due to air hunger. So, Hospice gave him morphine and ativan continually. He finally relaxed and went into a very deep sleep. He stopped breathing a few times in the days and we thought he was gone. Then all the sudden just as they were going to pronouce him dead would start up breathing again. I left the room for just a few minutes. My niece knocked on the bedroom door I was in. She said "Grandpa just passed." She leans over to give my dad a kiss. He wakes up for the first time he did in hours and looks directly at me and winks. So, I go over to hold his hand again and I ask him if he's ready. Then his passes in less then a minute. The Ativan and morphine were a blessing and did wonders to help him have a peaceful passing with less panic and anxiety for him. I strongly recommend it. It will make them pretty much just sleep so say what you need to say before it's administered. A huge hug to you.
 

Atsugi

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"She leans over to give my dad a kiss. He wakes up for the first time he did in hours and looks directly at me and winks."


What a great way to go. I hope I'm this classy when my time comes.


Thanks, Kim.
 
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