No mine didn't, but I still had to discuss arrangements with funeral directors and get quotes etc. My husband had FTD and he would have NOTHING to do with his funeral arrangements, and I mean nothing. Even though his first wife had died of cancer and he had been her carer and had been through all this as a carer, he simply opted out. Told me he didn't care what happened after as he would be dead. Wouldn't even tell me what he thought of the funeral home who had looked after Lisa's body, or who they were.
So I had to just flounder about making my own decisions and having those discussions, and then not discuss them with Chris at all.
It all turned out really quite bizarre. I had done all the enquiries and comparing and had decided on who I would go with and had my head and heart settled, but hadn't done the final formal meeting and agreement with the funeral home I chose. I knew I had to, but kept putting it off. Finally I organised a meeting a couple of weeks in advance. We were going to meet in a coffee shop as I couldn't imagine him coming to our home with Chris knowing I was with the funeral director and yet refusing to be part of the conversation.
It was set for the Tuesday after Easter, 2014. On the good friday I knew Chris was actively dying and that I would be going nowhere on the Tuesday, I would not be leaving him with care staff even for an hour or two. So I emailed the funeral director and said he would have to come here.
Chris passed away 2am that Tuesday morning, so I again emailed him and said he needed to come in the hearse. We did all the paperwork, phoned the GP together, and he took Chris's body to the GP for the death certificate and returned the ashes to me.
I know it feels so strange to be doing this organising. But it is better to have things in place. At least I knew who I was going to deal with, and they knew what was going on!
Some months later a local CALS friend had a sudden decline and death with her PALS, months before she thought he would go. She was suddenly phoning me madly asking for funeral director phone number as she had nothing in place!
It was certainly nothing I had imagined in my 50's!