Feeling lost , Friends

[Flowerpot]

Hi

As some of you will know , my Mum died late December. We initially thought it was a stroke but turns out her respiritory system broke down due to MND.

I now feel so lost without seeing her most days and trying to fill my time. Have signed up for a half marathon for MND to be run in September.

What I find hardest to cope with are the unexpected jolts. I went on a website that sends personolised cards and her details were stored there.

How do people cope ?

I still feel in a bubble about it , although we have the feathers to hang on to. My Mum had a great Christian faith and felt she was looked over by angels. Those closest to her have had a white feather descend in front of them in the past few weeks , my lovely boys included - in the most random of situations.

I hang on to the thought she is looking out for us.

Kind regards

Flowerpot

Apologies Al if this is not the most appropriate forum - sometimes you just have to let it all out !

 

[Bujy]

I am very sorry for your loss. My hear just breaks for you. I can't imagine what you're going through. I've never lost anyone to disease like this before. My MIL has ALS and has just started progressing again after a long plateau. I can't bring myself to think of losing her quite yet. Thankful that I do not have to right now.

Big hugs!

 

[thelma313]

I know exactly what you mean about the sudden jolts. As you know my Dad was diagnosed with Bulbar onset in August 08 and he is not doing so great. His legs are really weakened now and soon he'll need a wheelchair. It hits me in the same way, Flowerpot. I sometimes will be doing something random and the sadness hits me that this is for real and the tears just flow.

It is difficult but as you know you have my full support. I think of you often. If you need to talk you know I am here. I am sending you as much support as is possible via the internet.

I believe in those feathers too! My grandmother sent butterflies. I know that is your Mum letting you know she is at peace.

BIG HUGS, Friend.
xo

 

[rocmg]

flowerpot. sorry to hear you're feeling down. it's great that you're going to run a marathon for MND! keep up the hard training

god bless.

 

[DgtofTNfan]

Flowerpot

My Dad was just recently diagnosed and seems I can't finish a song on the radio or some stupid commercial, so I know what you mean about those jolts.

Just wanted you to know I feel for you and appreciate your plans to run in the marathon.

Friends,
Dana

 

[judylyne]

My husband and I raised our grandson. He's 25 now and when my husband died he had my husbands initials and year of death tatooed on his arm so when anyone ask him about the tatoo he educates them about als.

 

[Al]

Flowerpot, you can let your feelings out anywhere you like here. I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. Do you have someone you can talk to?

AL.

 

[brooksea]

Sorry it's hitting you so hard Flowerpot. I wish we could all make things better.

I heard a country music song today with the lyrics "I guess God's not listening." I just about burst into tears, but had to keep it together in front of hubby and son.

The reality of it all is hard to bear sometimes.

Hope the feathers lift your spirits, so to speak.

 

[thelma313]

By the way, I think it's just amazing that you signed up for a half marathon. Training for that will definitely lift your spirits. You are doing great, Flowerpot. It is only natural that you will miss your sweet Mum. BIG HUGE HUGS! xo

 

[Carolan]

Flowrpot, my humble advice (as someone who has not yet lost my mother) is to mix it up. It's hard enough to adapt to the loss of a family member, but if you keep the exact same routines, it's even harder. Try to vary your routine as much as possible--training for the half-marathon is a start. You are in a beautiful country, where so many of my friends want to visit. What about spending some time in the Lake District (as long as it isn't raining)? Or some of those last-minute discount flights to the mainland? You are so close to Paris...my favorite city in the world...

 

[softballmom]

Hi Flowerpot,

I am a frequent lurker, but your post really hit home and I felt I needed to finally post. My mom also passed away in December from ALS, after 10 months from diagnosis, and I also feel so lost. I work part time and I was always with her when I was not working. I talked to her daily(until she lost her voice), and saw her most days.

Now that she is gone, I am having a hard time filling the void. I know she is watching over us and I know she is with us in every step we take, but I miss her. I miss being able to call or visit her. I miss asking her for advice. I miss telling her about her granddaughter's accomplishments. I miss having a mom.

I understand those unexpected jolts and wonder if it'll every get easier to handle. I try to keep busy. I am helping with some ALS fundraisers, but even that is sometimes hard to bear. Good luck to you and your 1/2 marathon!

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings. I truely understand where you are coming from.

Take care,
softballmom

 

[Flowerpot]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice - and your practical suggestion Carolan.

Things are a little easier this week , but am learning to do this one day at a time. My lovely sister is having a similar time , so we comfort each other.

Softballmom - hugs to you and well done for posting. I do hope that your days get better - our children keep us sane !

Kind regards to you all

Flowerpot

 

[Flowerpot]

Hi All

It's over a year now since Mum died and I have been watching all the goings on , from a distance on this site." Hello " to the familiar faces and I hope you are finding the support as fantastic as I did( to the faces who are unfamiliar )

What started out as a sad year turned out to be not so bad - completed the half marathon and raised funds for the MND Association , moved house , saw children progress in their education and got promoted at work ( Mum definitely looked over me on that one ! )

I do hope to keep popping in and I send you all hugs - the stoicism and determination of the people on this site nevers fails to amaze me.

Kind regards

Meg

 

[thelma313]

Hi Meg,

I'm so glad that you wrote this update. It is very helpful to know that good things will keep happening in life. Right now I am at the point where I can't look to the future without feeling overwhelmed with sadness and if I let myself think about good times ahead I feel guilty about it. I know that the pain of losing a parent never really goes away, but it truly does help me to know that you are doing well. You are my beacon.

Anyway, you already know how much I care about you. To all the newer members that don't know "Flowerpot" very well... she is awesome, Everyone! Meg, you have been a true friend to me and I am so glad I met you back when both our parents were newly diagnosed.

Big hugs to you!
Rosella xo

 

[cris]

Dear Flowerpot, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's very hard losing someone so important in your life. I agree w/ the others that changing you schedule and adding new experiences will all help w coping.

Am sending lots of love and care your way!